help me!!! - Al-Anon Family Group

YARNCRAZY · Senior Member

help me!!!

luv123 · Senior Member

I am so sorry you are going through all this pain and despair. I am saying prayers for you to find some serenity and hope. U may feel alone, but u are not--there are so so many of us who have had these feelings too and have found help and a reason to smile whether or not the alcoholic changes or not. Keep coming to the message board; maybe try phone bridge meetings, if face to face ones are hard to get to. Here is a link--- http://afg-phonemeetings.blogspot.com/

(phone meetings are also listed on alanon.org website under electronic meetings link)

Sending hugs,

Luv123

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

This sounds like a steps 1 - 3 situation which for the moment is an insanity experience. Learning to trust HP and keep trusting HP was what I had to learn to do and practice which made all things come out much differed than I feared. I pray you can live in the moment...one minute, hour and day at a time and stay in the meetings. ((((hugs)))) smile

Mirandac · ~*Service Worker*~

Yarncrazy hang in there! Sending you Support that your
answers will come. I know where you are coming From.
Keep diving into your program work.

(((((( Alyce)))))))))

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Yarncrazy, I am sorry to read of your anxiety and dilemma. The 11th step asks that pray only for" knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry that out". I know that I was continually formulating a plan for my life and asking God to rubber stamp it and give me what I thought was the best--those prayers were rarely answered, however HP's will was made known to me and I was given the power to carry that.My life became richer than I could have imagined

Meetings, prayer and sharing are all crucial to the discovery of HP's will. If you are ill. Al-Anon on-kine meetings are held here twice a day. Here is scheduled

Morning Meetings

Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST

Sat. - Sun at 10am EST

Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.

Night Meetings

Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time

Sunday 7PM eastern time

Many members who post to the Message Board also attend these meetings so you will feel quite comfortable in the group

I will include you in my prayers

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Keep reaching out as much as you are able. Alanon and whatever other groups and activities you can manage. That is the best I can come up with at the moment. Build as much meaning away and apart from him and the house and that will allow sanity and calmness to come back in. Also you will give yourself the opportunity to be the version of you that you like and not who you are with him. Lastly, the more connections you build, the more opportunities exist. It's basically networking. Not driving is a challenge, but you might be able to find rides to face to face meetings. Not sure how rural your area is...and how many meetings there are. Church (depending on what you believe in) is also a good source of community and support.

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Alyce,

As Jerry F said, this is a step 1-3 kind of thing. Think of the Serenity Prayer - God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. You listed a lot of things you cannot change, and you will have to gain the serenity to be able to accept them. Al Anon can help you with this, going to meetings and working the steps.

The courage to change the things I can. perhaps getting rides to meetings. Perhaps getting driving lessons, assuming there is a car available to you? Doing some other suggestion that Pinkchip gave above? These all take courage because they are changing things in your life.

And the wisdom to know the difference. Prayer to HP.

Keep coming back. Many people here and at F2F groups have thought life was hopeless, but they found a new way.

kenny

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope there is a low-cost or no-cost lawyer you can consult, in person or by phone. If you own the house together, you should be able to get half the value of the house. This is normal when separating. I wonder if there is also a way a lawyer would have to induce him to sign off on the pension thing. I don't understand that piece of it so I don't know.

I do remember that our Miss Meliss from this site learned to drive for the first time ever and is making a whole new good life. I think there may be equally good things in store for you. Please don't give up hope - consult the law about getting what you deserve. Hang in there. Hugs.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Dont panic yarn. I suggest gojng to alanon meetings pronto. Its here you will get the support with everything. You might be physically unable to leave him but you can set your mind free and live your life regardless of what he is doing. Alanon is about training your mind to think differently. Work the steps, they set you free. Thats what alanon is, its not always about leaving. There are women in my meeting who never left and regardless of the husband they are happy, serene, living life to the fullest.x

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.