The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced.
If we concentrate on making others happy, and the world a perfect place and base our self-esteem on these issues, we will always be unsatisfied with who we are, because we are powerless over people places and things and this is an impossible task.
Accepting the fact that we cannot be perfect, nor can we make others perfect , enables us to move forward in a positive direction. Knowing that we are worthy of love, respect and joy because we are children of God, as is everybody else, and being grateful for the miraculous "self" that we have been given, is a huge step toward building self-esteem and self-worth . When we hold this thought in the forefront of our mind we will not be tempted to give up this " self "to make others happy.
The quote is from Al-Anon faces alcoholism; "I am learning to live a full life, one in which I like and care for the person I am."
I think it's important for me to note that self-esteem is nothing to do with the EGO. When I am trying to feed my EGO, arrogance and pride is in control and I am feeling less than and an Easing God Out.
When I am increasing my self-esteem and self-worth, I am being humble enough to acknowledge that HP is in control and that the motives for my behavior are in check. I found that keeping the focus on myself, taking esteemable actions , refusing to engage in judging, gossiping or criticizing others truly helped to increase my self-esteem and my ability to respect myself
The ODA T reading for April 27 challenges us to stop blaming others for our own unhappiness and to look to ourselves and attempt to solve our own emotional problems using Al-Anon tools.
Practicing Al-Anon principles in all my affairs and placing principles above personalities including my own lead me to humility, trusting HP and rebuild self-esteem. Thank you Al-Anon
The C2C reading this morning was one I really needed. Strange how that happens, isn't it? right on cue.
I have always tended to base my self-esteem on what other people thought of me. If they thought I was great, that must be true. And, since I was in elementary school, I have been fighting against this, trying to find self worth internally, because I didn't have the supportive peers I thought I needed to feel good about myself. (Well, at least I didn't have to worry too much about peer pressure as a kid, lol!)
But, I find myself in traps of my own making as an adult. I find a group where I am respected and appreciated, and my self esteem soars. Then, I tailspin while thinking that I am somehow disappointing someone by my choices.
It all comes back to finding my self worth and my self esteem from within myself, and making decisions that I am happy about. Practicing AlAnon principles has really lead me back t respect for myself and my choices, and helped rebuild my self esteem.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Betty and Skorpi for your esh on self-esteem. I am learning that I need to base self-esteem on right action and estimable actions as determined by my fourth step, not just continue with whatever behavior brought me into the rooms. Progress not perfection is perfect for me today (interesting irony in that statement I just noticed, I like how HP works). Have a great day everyone.
Tough one for me Betty, thank you for your topic of discussion! I always struggle with this one, and the important thing for me to remember is that if my heart is in the right place and HP is always in control then I must take a step back and allow the situation to play out, whether it is an unhappy AH or anyone else for that matter, without feeling that I am to blame.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
