The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was looking at pinkchip's profile, was gonna ask if the parrot was his and glanced at his whiteboard messages, then over to Jerry's whiteboard to see what else was written on the subject of saying "maybe I'm wrong".
Interesting, and something I'm not very good at, considering that my take on something could be wrong. Wrong is such a dirty word it should have four letters in it! (ha!).
Its easy to look at a situation I have no emotional connection or opinion about and shrug, saying, well, I could be wrong about that; I even joke about noting it on the calendar that I admitted to being wrong (but I didn't really admit it, did I? I said I COULD be, different from I AM). But issues that hit close to home, well, I'm much more likely to see the issue with blinders on, seeing only how I feel about it based on bias's and past experiences.
I've gotten much better at understanding that you really DO have to wear someone else's moccasins before you can judge the way they live; heck not to mention we shouldn't be judging them anyway. I'm not sure that this concept, stopping mid-argument to consider if I'm really in the right, will ever happen in a way that I recognize and appreciate, but its interesting to consider.
Thanks guys!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I'm not sure that this concept, stopping mid-argument to consider if I'm really in the right, will ever happenin a way that I recognize and appreciate, but its interesting to consider.
For me, I feel like I'm still stuck in wondering if I'll ever learn to stop and consider if I'm in the right!! Once I get going, full steam ahead, I don't tend to look left or right but just keep on pushing, pushing, pushing. I need to start asking my HP to help me remove this defect, b/c I sure as heck haven't done much w/it on my own....
Thanks for the post, good topic.
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Forgiving is not forgetting. It is remembering and letting go. -- Claudia Black
I was just talking to a friend about the idea of perspective earlier today. We can be wrong and we can admit it even if we don't understand another person's perspective. I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong, but I do have a tendency to judge others when they've been proven wrong and I bring it back up and throw it in their face in later arguments, etc. I usually do this when I push and push to prove that I'm right, LOL!.
Thank you for this topic, probably something I should throw into my step 4 work soon!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Yes. Jerry introduced me to that. So simple right? If I said that more and at opportune times, it would save me so much grief. The 4 words are rooted in humility, being teachable, acceptance, open-mindedness and other good program stuff. I never need to get that upset if I use the saying appropriately. It might not even be that I am wrong on an issue. It could be that I am wrong in my timing and or presentation. I'm not saying the point is to doubt myself because it's good to stand for something, to have convictions, and also to balance it with not being a doormat.. But if I'm angry at others, arguing, trying to drive my points across to the degree that I am giving my serenity away, there is something I'm wrong about no matter what the other person has done. Other people also have the right to live in "non-Mark approved" ways so maybe I'm wrong applies to that too. I am not other people's hps.
Also, the parrot is mine, as is one other parrot, 2 cats, and 3 dogs :)
Great topic LMH when thinking about this idea of:" I could be wrong", I like the Al-Anon philosophy that states:". The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person they gave them take what you like and leave the rest."
it is all opinion in my book and I have the right to my opinion, as does everyone else. I can express my opnion and allow you the same respect-to do the same I do not have the right to force you to agree. That is the freedom this country was founded on.I can listen with respect and still hold on to my opinion.
As far as looking at my actions and noting my defects, I have come a long way in that department and can easily see and admit my wrongsm and not look for you to do the same. Thanks to alanon.
If I am expressing my opinion on my life and my experience, then that is what is important and what counts. If someone else comes in and gives their opinion on my life, I believe it is intrusive because they do not know the entire story of what is truly going on . I feel that the principle of Al-Anon holds true and that is t is why Al-Anon suggests we do not give advice or tell others what to do--- because we do not have a perspective on their life and their experiences.
We can only speak from our own experience, strength and hope and when I do that, I'm honest, open and willing., only suggest Al-Anon tools to use them I don't have to worry about" I could be wrong ".
