The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Work is going well ... Finally pushing through our two year project. My mom is staying with us. My son is excited to have grandma with us. She has been helping a great deal and it is appreciated. I have made it to the gym and my house is just about fixed.
The not so good news ex-A quit paying child support. I am not too concerned as he is in maintenance so they deal with that.
The bad news ... The visits are not going well for my son. He had a complete melt down after the last visit. He was throwing up, hitting me and trashing his room. He is potty trained and he peed on the floor and pooped his pants. I made a doctor's appointment. He is really angry with me. He was screaming "leave me alone" and "drive away mom".
The visit prior to this one he whispered in my ear at the exchange that I am to apologize to his dad. Then if I ask any question, he shuts down.
Just want to talk it through.
That does sound really upsetting Truth.
I can recall a lot of similar difficulties with my daughter and her visitations we she was little, she would act out terribly when she came home, extreme rages, night terrors and yes, sudden inability to use the potty...in honesty I don't think it was anything her father did or said, he had pretty much quit drinking and using by then and he was pretty decent and mindful when she was little, but something in the transition caused her to come home rabid and angry at me. I think possibly her father played the "poor me" card to excess and she blamed me for his unhappy, "uncared for" state; in recent conversations (she's 12 now) I am beginning to understand that she still wishes her father and I were together and she blames me for not having made that happen. I can only take some comfort in the fact that she obviously sees me as the strong parent since I am the one she can express her anger and hurt at.
Hugs.
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
