The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself why is this so annoying for me and irritating.
I think it's because he used to do that all the time and then eventually just didn't work. So for today I have had to really practice "Let it go and Easy does it" because I am about to go nuts on him with this BS.
I also have to remind myself that I cannot force anything and if he called in sick then he called in sick. Not my circus not my monkeys and also instead of trying to pray away my sense of impending doom, feel the feelings, pray for the right thing and look after me. Easier said than done
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Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
I used to call in like that at my first job when I was in my 20s. All the other places I have worked since then...even before getting sober, I almost never called out, because if I failed to show up for work, it just meant more work for my coworkers and that made me feel guilty. Of course, newly recovering A's can talk themselves into any kind of BS. For all you know, he is telling himself this is "self-care" and preventing "HALT." Whatever. It does beat him being an active meth addict though.
I work from home two days a week. AH is not currently working. He sleeps all day. I just shake my head and go about my life. He is getting very annoyed with me for going to bed at 9:30 or 10 or so since I get up at 5 I'm tired. He stays up all night. Oh well. just less time for him to spend with me.
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-- ladybug
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
ladybugnessa, that is almost my story to a T. Mine is now retired (early due to injury) and while in a drinking phase he stays up all night drinking alone in his man cave. It is hard to not take it as a slap that he doesn't keep the same hours as me when it is totally available. I call it living like a vampire.
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Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
Flower, you're doing a good job focusing on yourself. At least for me, it's always about the aftermath of someone else's unacceptable behavior. I project about the fallout, the irritibility will show itself in the other person when they end up feeling the consequences and how that will affect me. It means having to practice more detachment, being conscious about staying on my side of the street, being hypervigilant about manipulative behavior because the other person now finds themself in a bind because of their behaivor. That to me is "annoying," because the whole scenario could be avoided if the other person acted like a responsible adult. I hope you do something nice just for yourself at the end of your workday just to take the edge off. Good job taking care of yourself and carrying out your own responsibilities of work. hugs TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself why is this so annoying for me and irritating.