The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for April 23 speaks about the use of sarcasm. It points out that using the negative destructive tool of sarcasm usually relieves our pent-up feelings and gives us a certain satisfaction. Regardless of this is important to note that the word " sarcasm" comes from the Greek word "sarcazo" which means to tear flesh. It is that form of irony in which the speaker is motivated by "scorn ".
When I first read this page, many years ago I can remember feeling extremely upset and confused. As I processed the information, I came to realize that in my family of origin sarcasm was thought of as an acceptable form of communication and the way to get attention, and two-others. As I looked at this idea I looked at this idea, I could really appreciate how powerful and destructive .The use of sarcasm could be.I didn't have any right to scorn anyone or to make anyone the focus of my jokes.
The reminder today, let us attempt to blend gentleness, with firmness, instead of tearing and destroying. The wounds made by sarcasm, are slow to heal.
The quote is from Proverbs "ascorner seeketh wisdom, and find it not. He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding."
I remember someone years ago telling me that I like to rub salt in the wounds. I did not understand it then, but I certainly do now.
I still have a hard time with this and can be known to use sarcasm and am careful never to be demeaning to anyone with it. Maybe I am mislabeling things I say or maybe I am an insensitive jerk, honestly I am unsure and this topic always leaves me wondering. My boyfriend and I often playfully zing back and forth and I will laugh and say jerk, but I find it funny and not hurtful and so does he, we have talked it out, but I wonder if it is healthy. I never zing things out that really are bothering me and have serious communication about sensitive subjects. Maybe there is another term or have I learned to desensitize to it and so has he, I wonder?! Thanks for this reading today Hotrod, you got me thinking.
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Thursday 23rd of April 2015 07:52:28 AM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
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" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Very good topic for me, as I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism to help diffuse arguments. It's possible that isn't necessarily a bad thing, not sure about that, maybe it depends on the circumstances.
But the idea that I should apologize or at least cut the sarcasm out when I see someone is bothered by it is probably a good one, maybe a starting point to create a boundary for me to live by. Thanks everyone for sharing.
I was surprised to find this out at the beginning because i thought it was a skill. Lol. I thought i was pretty good at it. I can see how i used it as a weapon, to hurt someone, especially my ex ah. I took revenge through sarcasm, saying things i wanted to say but in a mean way, i was angry. I try not to use it but i was pretty good at it and sometimes forget but i do try not to.
