The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, im new to this and not to sure how it works,. from reading so many stories it hard to believe that so many people are in the same situation as me. My husband has always liked a drink on social occasions the same as myself, but over the last 5-6 years it got more and more. He tries to hide it and tells lies about his drinking every day. I have to to come home early from work on several occasions because he has been drunk and unable to look after our child. I have left him twice and came back both times hoping that things would change but they never do, he stops drinking for about a week then gradually it goes back to everyday. He promises every time that things will change but they never do. Its so hurtful to see someone that you love so much go through this. I used to think that it was something that i was doing wrong but i know that i havent done anything wrong. I have begged and pleaded with him to stop but he always says that im over re-acting. I worry that now my child will start to remember what he is like (sleeping because he is drunk or sneaking off to a pub pretending to be going to the shop).
We dont do anything together as a couple, and when we do plan to go out he always ends up drunk and we have to go home.
I want to leave him but i feel so trapped and i suppose scared as we have been together for over 16 years. Everyday you hope is going to be a better one, but everyday theres always another lie. Sometimes i feel like a complete mug but when he is sober he is a brilliant husband and father, its just the days that hes not sober.
Im not really sure where i go from here, i suppose i just want to know if this will ever stop or am i better to walk away and make a new happier life for my child and me? Hope this makes sense.
Hi and I am glad you found us here at MIP. Al-anon face to face meetings, MIP, my sponsor and reading books like "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews helped me to make the changes I needed within myself. I was with my ex-Alcoholic Husband 15 years and we had split several times always hoping things would change, but that didn't happen for me. I left and started going to al-anon and realized I needed some work done within. I pleaded with my exAH a lot too and if there was something I could have said or done to fix him I would have done it, unfortunately he has to want it for himself and I have no control over that. The serenity prayer and the al-anon tools and principles that I learned through my meetings and sponsor helped me to change my perspective and work on what I can control and that is me. Keep coming back, this program works when you work it. Sending you love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
hi thanks for replying, yeah i understand that you would have done anything, if i could sign him into rehab i would but i know i cannot do that. I suppose its making the choice and having the guts to stick to it without giving in to his pleads to stay, thanks again, it means alot.
