I can't say it's the easiest week I've ever had. But....

Daughter had her rather public meltdown. But through it we are closer, and I have a much clearer picture of what she needs from me right now. She's been happy, I have had a chance to spoil her and mother her relentlessly, in a good way and we have some great new support systems in place.  

I withstood a horrendous onslaught of abuse from her father and stepmother. But that's OK because a) I withstood it without lowering myself to their level and b) I learned an important lesson. These people do not and will never have kind or benevolent intentions towards me and, after 10 years of trying to meet them half way as "co-parents" and debase myself trying to be "friendly" it's clear they don't have the maturity or growth to be considered as such and I cannot waste any more time or undermine my own parenting any longer by trying to accommodate them. My daughter's father might love and care for her but he doesn't contribute and it's time for me to stop trying to act as though we are both rowing this boat together because lets be serious, most of the time he is stealing the food rations while I frantically row us around in circles....

I finally contacted the child support agency and asked them to collect payments from him on my behalf. This means that there will be about a 6 week gap in his payments that I can hardly afford but, it means that this year he cannot dodgy his taxes and leave me thousands of dollars out of pocket. Whatever he does, he will have to pay the correct amount. He is furious that I have done this which is interesting in itself. So a short term hardship will result in never having to worry, be an investigator, or feel the fury and outrage of being duped by him yet again. From now on I now i will receive the correct amount and not ever end up with a debt of someone else's making again.

I have spent too much money on daughter but, she now has a brand new bed base and mattress to go with her lovely old brass bed frame donated by my mother and her new-look room is starting to take shape. And it is good, it feels good. I've wanted to get her a decent bed (she was sleeping on a crappy old sofa bed) for ages and now she has something quite impressive and it feels good to tuck her in at night. Mother has messaged me today that she has bought black sheets and covers, my grandmother has made a black broderie valance and curtains, a "hang from the roof" canopy will arrive in the mail presently. Her room is starting to look, well for want of a better word, wicked  

I have had a huge amount of schoolwork to do but, I have done what has so far been due on time (albeit average quality) and now I have another huge assignment due in 24 hours but, I know I can. I'm doing it. One foot in front of the other. I'm really pleased about this because I haven't folded and given up on doing what I need to do for myself just because things are hard right now. I've kept my own needs as a priority as well as everything else. That's new for me, usually I throw in the towel when things get hard and then complain afterwards that i "wasn't allowed" to do anything to make progress. 

And, I had to abandon one of my jobs. It was too far away and causing huge stress for very little money. But I was able to pass the job on to a friend of mine who lives in the area and she is very pleased about it. I was over extending myself and it feels good to have cut out that one job that was just not worth the long journey to get there (or the fact that I always bought take-away on the way back anyway lol). I have others so it was a strange sort of burden I didn't seem to be able to let go of and I'm glad I have now.

I also reduced my imediate income significantly by having all of my utility bills paid out at a weekly rate and increasing my rent payments. This is how I used to save money, before ABF. I paid a bit more than I should each week and then each Christmas I could stop paying for a couple of months and enjoy having no expenses. Now that I do not live with Abf anymore I can do this again. Just like I can stock up on stuff when it is on sale and not have him eat/drink/use it all up rendering the whole exercise pointless. Basically I can get back to running my budget MY way and I feel this week I've really been able, finally, to see my way to taking control of it again. 

So, anyway. I feel like I made a pretty good batch of lemonade from a bumper crop of lemons this last week and what's not to be pleased about? It just takes one next right thing after another...