The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just love the miracles...specially the personal ones.
Last Sunday my wife and I met with and spent time with a sponsee and his Alky mother. She doesn't win the staying alive award nor he the entrenched in sanity one...but as he kept hanging with his AA program and Al-Anon lessons he stayed alive and grew which she drank on a daily basis because she could not not drink. He often didn't know what the outcome should or would be for either of them. She was entirely independent on him from going to bed to bathroom to standing up and he had with them. Not too long ago they were on Oahu for detox for her...two appointments and both canceled by the hospital the time leaving them living on the street in various street groups. They didn't have mats to sit or lay on and he has to leave her to scrounge food for her to keep her alive. She is rail thin. He found a doctor who donated mileage miles to get them home to Hawaii and she found nurses who donated 10 bucks for food. (she use part of that for booze) as she continued her drive for death. She couldn't stand or walk on her own without this son.
Sometimes I get confused between the definitions of enabling and helping until I sit quietly with my HP and elder sponsor and get myself out of the picture. My sponsee was truly working it as he was told. "If the other person has the time, the ability and facility to get their needs met and I interfere and take over...that is enabling. "If they lack anyone of those three and I am asked to help and then think of how I will...That is helping".
At times I would meet him at their car to speak program (Al-Anon with him) and give him somewhat of a chance to wander off from her while she drank and smoked in the car. I would not go sit with her and take over...she is not my sponsee and I have nothing she needs that she knew of...or maybe a companion for her son...?
Any how...no detox and after her last pint she made a decision to stop and feel what the first 10 years of sobriety was like...she is a relapser. Any how she was at my morning home group "At the Bay" and neither of them recognized me cause I was wearing a cap to shield the scars on top of my head from surgery and when the meeting was over we had a "surprise" get together and I love those "look a miracle" greets cause she was standing up on her own and moving carefully on her own and he son was so glad he could just spit cause now she could take care of her self more. She was full of fluff and had a genuine "glad I'm alive to meet you" look on her face when she and my wife embraced.
Ever had one of these hit by Higher Power between the running lights? This gal her son and and I love each other; for what is there not to love. was it not there before we found this program? I had to be careful hugging and kissing her because man that's fragile stuff. I love miracles.
I got another one to celebrate this morning...woke up pain free after almost 4 months of murderous head pain. Just for this minute I will live to thru this pain free time and not attempt to complain or resent anything or one in my life. (just a selfied adaptation of the Just For Today) pamphlet. For all of you my family who have offered prayers...I am grateful for your determination. Free at last, Free at last....Thank GOD...I,m free at last. ((((hugs))))
I hope for you a special one today. (((((hugs)))))
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Jerry that is a miracle. I'm so grateful your pain has abated. Your gratitude for this is so alluring - keeps me returning because that awareness is what I want to grow within me.
I do also Hotrod ...my HP likes to put them smack dab in front of my face and whisper ..."looka this one" Not mine so much as hers. I told her Sunday that I would like to hear her speak into the rooms because of the support it gives her and others..
