The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Nobody becomes mentally ill due to their spouse getting sober. In most cases, the trauma from living with them while they were actively drinking was/is worse. That said, you are not alone in terms of persons whose relationships did deteriorate when their spouse got sober. That does happen. I think you are really looking for if there are programs that aid folks in alanon who are also suffering with mental illness. I would tell you wisdom that you are not alone and that many folks in alanon have depression and other mental illnesses. Like in all 12 step groups, we are here because we have problems. I've been coping with depression and taking meds for it since my early 20s.
Wisdom this is a 2nd step focus for me as When I became convinced that the program had the answers for me I dedicated my life to the working of the steps. Notice that the last word of the 2nd step is sanity. Then came the definition of sanity from within the program. "A continuous and orderly process of thought". That is my measuring stick for sanity. If you are referring to emotions and not thoughts I refer to the lesson, "feelings are choices" and I hold myself only to the choices. I use to think that feelings were defaults depending on what was happening to me at any one period of time and then I learned I can choose what ever emotion I want to feel to gain the peace of mind and serenity I want. Practice, Practice, Practce. ((((hugs))))
Let me say this different . Due to my ex A sobriety my depression worsen and yes my hidden mental illness did just appear when he became sober ! If I had a issue before he was drinking it was never surfaced until going to Alalon and working the steps . The inventory is what made our recovery worst since he did not allow me to work my helping process when he should of been working his . I'm not completely blaming him for my past PTSD my past trauma but the new tramua and other unstable mental health issues he contributed to . AGAIN we still both healing and we both can get along today with each other , I'm just looking for another step program threw Alaon to help me further my helping , since I'm no longer with the drinker but still fighting a disease
Hi wisdom, you have had great feedback. The idea of alanon is getting help from those who know what your gojng through and through the program, meetings, steps, sponsor, we get better. You have been affected by alcoholism, a family disease whether the drinker is drinking or not. It seems to me you belong here in alanon. Not sure what your looking for in terms of another 12 step program. Working the steps isnt easy, it brings us to some truths that can be hard to face but unless we work through these we cant get to the good bits. The acceptance of the hard truths.
True I still belong here. Maybe I'm looking for nami program . I made my amends many times it seams like I never can get pass step 9 , I find I'm also heading backwards to my inventory and finding more character defects I think that's why I thought maybe I needed a different 12 step to help me with my depression. Thank you all for your positive feed back . This disease keeps me still in my head but for learning only
HI Wisdom Great to hear from you!! There is a 12 Step Program in NYC called:Emotions Anonymous", that you might find helpful. Check it out but please keep coming here as well
In my experience I was numb to all emotion for years, as I got more healthy in recovery, I start to feel emotions and pain. Also my defects of character are only revealed to me bit at a time, everythings been slow for me, so as not to overwhelm me (thanks HP) I still have not found a HP by the way, but im working on that and get some peace from my daily prayer and meditation. Im also working on trying to be kind and loving to myself. xx
Just sharing with you that I found it hugely difficult to cope with my emotions in the months and now year since AH stopped drinking. I have bouts of depression which I interpret as my anger turning inwards and also flares of anger which I celebrate as my feelings coming back. We have experienced trauma. For me I feel as if I am redefining who I am, or perhaps that is rediscovering who I am, and I am seeing sides of myself that I didn't acknowledge before. I might not like everything that I see, and sometimes I struggle with that, but I do like the fact that I question myself and that I am also better able to take care of myself. When AH was drinking I was preoccupied with looking at what was happening in my husband's life. Now that I don't have that preoccupation I am learning positive things. I do hope that you find the support group that helps you.
