The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I can relate. Sometimes i get a bit nervous or self conscious knowing it will be my turn soon but I find that if I just relax and whatever I say will be good enough and that my higher power may be talking through me so someone will get something out of anything I have shared. For me meetings are about listening, more than anything, they are an exercise in listening for me. I listen to the preamble, the steps, traditions, readings, members esh and I cant fail not to get something I need.
Your 'emotional muddle' will be giving much more than you imagine. Try letting go of the outcome and relaxing if you can.x
Thank you for the encouragement. You sound
Like me at meetings i would rather just relax
And listen but i must do my sharing now too.
Its part of us growing and being a grownup.
I am pretty good on the letting go of the outcome
Of my divorce. My ah is not a happy camper. He
Wants what he wants and does not understand
Why i would put up a fight or be unhappy with his
Behaviors.
Mirandac, too found it easier to express myself in the written word at the beginning of my alanon journey. My Spenser urged me to make every effort to share even if haltingly at every meetings because that is where my recovery needed to take place.
Living with the disease of alcoholism , I had learned to be quite, keep my thoughts, ideas, dreams to myself and let others shine. She pointed out that sharing at the meetings taught me how to express myself with people regardless of who they were or what they thought.
Today sharing at a meeting is second nature. I do not rehearse what I will say, I wait and listen with an open mind to the topic and readings and then speak from my true self, the words that surface.
The Traditions stress the importance of sharing and points out that this is how we grow and recover. They also point out that alanon is a fellowship of equals and that there are no experts, professionals or leaders because these leaders are simply trusted servants and do not govern
The reasons for these Traditions are for each of us to feel and know that we are a vital part of the group and our thoughts important to the recovery of the whole We each have something to give, and it is important that we share with the group, because this is how we recover from this devastating disease.
Thank you Betty so well said. I do just speak from my
Heart. It took me so long to get brave enough to
Speak i am still timid. I do though its something i
Know i need to work thru. The fear of being not
Good enough or clever enough. Face my fears And
grow and change my own self image.
You are so right about learning to be quiet not State
our needs wants and desires.That was almost Sinful
definitely willfull as a child. Those behaviors followed
Me into my marriage. My ah needed to be the one to
Shine i was the one that made it all happen.
I also like to share at meetings, but I like to share here more. I am more of a writing type of person, and not so much of a verbal person. I have gotten so much practice sharing here that, over the past year, I have become very comfortable sharing at meetings as well. I like meetings a lot, you get to share real time and see peoples' faces and hear there emotions, whether it is pain, joy, whatever. Both of them help me.
I like here because there isn't a time constraint, and I learn random things at the funniest random times throughout the day. My home group meeting is on a night that now conflicts with other volunteer work I do in my son's boy scout troop. The last time I was able to go, I learned about three events at other meetings in the area and I had conflicts with all of them, I was really bummed about it. But here, it's always on, and when I get some time I can learn and share. I can also feel the joy and pain in the shares here, and get something from them.
'A recovering doormat' I like that, it describes me too! As you said, it will all come in HPs time. If you are in the emotional muddle, HP probably just meant for you to listen that night. In fact, sometimes I get too preoccupied with what I will say in my share, so sometimes, if it feels particularly relevant, I will just listen, and pass or just say something short so that I can keep listening.
Thank you kenny. I usually can only go to one mtg a week.
I wish i had more time to go to others. I Work crazy shifts
And have two jobs. I just talk from the heart mostly on the
Subject then Veer off if i need to talk.
I too get a lot from mip! Actually it keeps my sanity most
Days. I can check in when i can during the day or night.
I just keep Reaching out as much as possible.
There is a recovering doormat book and society. They have
Pictures with sayings. I call myself the doormat come alive.
I was getting beat down with His disease. It really started
taking its toll on me.
