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I just wanted to share a story of an experience I had this past week that shook me to the core. I work for an agency that houses persons who suffer from either mental illness or chemical abuse or both. I deal with over 96 households who are suffering in some capacity. Last week I received a call from a mental health provider who was very concerned about her client who resides in our housing. She has asked that we allow her access to his apt. so that she could check on him. As I was in our main office about 45 min away I called one of my caseworkers in an office closer to see if she could assist. We were able to meet the worker there in about 10 minutes. This was a client who was an A, had been in and out of hospitals recently due to relapse and was depressed due to his DWI about two weeks ago when he totalled his car. He had been given significant intervention and services, but was resistant. He was struggling, we all knew it and were concerned.
Upon arrival at the house the workers went to the home and found his bedroom door ajar and the client hanging from his closet door. 911 was called and the death ruled a suicide. No note. It was a very planned event.
I recently read some posts regarding suicide. Please if someone you know is threatening suicide make a call to the police and get them to a hospital. Although if someone is intent on taking their life it can happen no matter where they are..but if the threat is there, it doesn't matter who makes the call.
I came home that night quite shaken and thankful that my own A is alive and well. But my heart broke for this genteleman's sister who I will be assisting this week to retrieve his belongings. Please say a prayer for the still sick and suffering.
This reminds me of an event from a few years back.... we were driving down to a funeral, of a really close friend, who had done the same thing - finally given into his addiction, and overdosed on heroin (not even his normal drug of choice). We drove an AA oldtimer down to the funeral (sober more than 30 years).... When she got into the car, she said:
"This is sad, isn't it? Not surprising, but sad just the same."
Those words stay with me, even to this day.... They were said so matter of factly, but the reality is, for most addicts, that they choose to either get better, or they die. There really isn't another option available to them.
I truly hate this disease.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I've lost 2 cousins one an alcoholic and one with a drug addiction, to suicide. Both left wives and children behind and where under 40. I hate this disease and have learned never to take suicide threats lightly.
The poor mans sister. When someone takes their own life those left behind always try and figure out what they could have done differently. It took me a long time to find the answer to that one, nothing. I hope he has found peace and I pray she can find hers.
Kim, I just want to say I'm so sorry that you had to go through this terrible experience and still have to be there for this gentlemans sister. I'm so glad you posted this as it has come up recently here, and as said it is something not to be taken lightly.
In the last year two men in the town were I live have killed themselves, both knew that they were going to be send back to jail because of alcohol and drug related offenses...one killed himself behind his Mothers house...the other had a beautiful wife and 3 small children. Where there signs... yes, threats...yes . Did the families tell anyone? I don't think so... Are they to blame, No...but ask them that question.
My husband was facing going back to prison or state rehab because of violation, when the first man killed himself, my husband said to me, "You know, that could be me, because I don't want to go back, I'd rather be dead....but please don't let that happen to me." We have been separated since Oct.2003, and I detached from with love a long time ago, but he is a sick and suffering child of God. I helped him get an appointment with a mental heath clinic, which later led to a short stay in the hospital for sever depression. Shortly after my husband went back to jail, he heard about the second mans death in jail...he cried because he knew him, they had worked together.
Yes, I hate this disease too. It destroys so many lifes. But as long as there is still life, a miracle can happen. I am one of those miracles, this month is my 21 st year sober. I always say a prayer for those who are still sick and suffering. Tonight I said a prayer for you and yours, and the family of this poor gentleman who had no more hope.
The sad truth is, these men hate themselves and their diseases. How awful it must be to have alcohol control your very soul. Most have tried to conquer it by the time they commit suicide and it seems hopeless. When they start to detox it is so uncomfortable, sometimes even painful that they just can't get through it.
Had my A not been in the hospital when he detoxed I know he would have drank. In fact even though he was in bed sick with bronchitis for three days, when he started to hallucinate and shake he got up and drank. That put the real detox off for a few more days. Can you imagine being sick in bed and HAVING to drink? His body was screaming for it . I have a whole new perspective on the A's choices now after what I saw him go through. Not every A has such a horrific detox as mine did, but the pure NEED of alcohol is unreal and something we can't possibly understand. It's like food or water to us. If we don't have it we'll die. Could you be in a desert and "choose" not to drink water if it was available? That's how I see that it is for them.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Hugs to you for being in this field of work and reaching out to others. People like you do make a difference even though it may not seem like it at the time. LUv Leo xx
This certainly touches close to home. My wife is in the ER right now after what appears to be an suicide attempt (see post above).
She has said a few times over the past few months that "she won't try to commit suicide because she knows that I can get rid of her if she does and she isn't that stupid." Recently, there was a vieled threat and I asked if she was threatening or planning and she didn't answer me. I immediatly called her psychiatrist. They told to bring her in or take her the pysch emergency. I told her to lets get in the car to go to the psychiatrist, she said she wasn't planning on it was just angery. It appeared to be ok. She has had an appt w/ her pyschiatrist since there.
So I did take it seriously.
The dyfs caseworker told me that she thought I should consider calling psych emergency to get her eval'd. She did not appear to be a threat to herself or anyone else at the time, just to property. I had the police at my house Saturday and they said the same thing, that she didn't appear to a danger to anyone.
Had I had any idea that she was thinking this way I would have NEVER let my daughter in the house first w/o me. She found her. I'm pretty mad at myself for that right now.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
