Dysfunctional Co worker - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: Dysfunctional Co worker

mercedes1959 · Senior Member

Thank you all...

glad · ~*Service Worker*~

maybe put a few "feelers" out there before you determine I you want to leave your job.

Sounds like management understands just can not do anything about it. Use the college student as much as possible, they will likely appreciate the experience.

One trick might be the next time the elderly woman makes a suggestion get up from your desk and say "your right, I'm sure you can do this better.. please feel free to complete this work" see if that stops her.... may not be a good idea I'm sure she has management wrapped around her finger. Just a funny idea...

I do not buy into the idea that she gets a pass because she is old, she has probably always been this way and probably can not think her way out of a brown paper bag and never could.

Maybe try putting her in spots where she realizes she knows nothing about what needs to be done! See if that will stop her!

glad · ~*Service Worker*~

my mother will sometimes back off if I give her some 'task' to be done like alphabetizing something ... but then she acts like its the most important job ever and that is annoying too....so that may not work.. ugh I feel for you!

All this is a good reason to look for another job, maybe higher power has something better out there for you?

Maybe if you look and realize there is not something better you will then feel more willing or able to deal with this woman.

Sounds like a really busy job though so I doubt you have time to dilly dally with "window shopping" for a new one.

What would happen if you got a lot done on the days she is not there, maybe even put in an extra hour or so, then on the days she is there be extra good to yourself and her, then casually mention to management that you enjoy her as a person but are aware you are so much more productive when your not baby sitting ( I would choose a different word than baby sitting, maybe " working with detailed supervision" either they will accept her being your project and let your work on those days not be as productive or they may see the need to make a change, either way hopefully you end up looking like the hero.... but who knows could backfire.. which is why it may be good to put those "feelers" out there for another position.

-- Edited by glad on Friday 6th of February 2015 01:23:53 PM

mercedes1959 · Senior Member

Today, I came in and was in a really good mood. Then had another problem with the co worker. I went outside and went for a walk and shook my hands in the air. I will not lose my serenity.

We have two pages that have to be notarized before sending to the customer. The co worker only notarized one and I didn't know and sent to the customer incomplete. I am so busy I just didn't have time nor do I look, usually she does both. So, I got called out by the customer. My boss who signs, the co worker's son didn't sign both pages. So, the co worker didn't have him sign it, didn't tell me it wasn't signed. When I asked her to notarize (he, her son has not come in yet), she said, Well it wasn't signed, I would never notarize it without him signing it. I said to her, why didn't you ask him to sign it? I mean, really? No teamwork, just give it back to me. I told her that it had been sent to the customer incomplete. It's not the end of the world but it's like having an alcoholic in the office. Arguing just to argue. I need support.....I will continue to say the serenity prayer......This was all right in the middle of me doing payroll and helping an employee sign up for the IRA 401K plan....I have enough going on........arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi mercedes,

I'm glad you are saying the serenity prayer. Sometimes, when it doesn't seem to be doing me much good, I inventory around the serenity prayer as well, evaluating what I can change, can't change, an then trying to evaluate if I got each issue into the right category (wisdom to know the difference). often, I give up for awhile and pray specifically about the issue that I'm not sure should be addressed or left alone. HP comes through, sometimes with more time and evaluation from me, sometimes through other program people, MIP, etc

Kenny

mercedes1959 · Senior Member

Things are better. I have been able to set boundaries with this co worker and it is more manageable. Using the tools of the program and the great reminders I have seen here from the posts, I have learned alot. The hardest thing for me is the "seeing things from the other persons point of view". This co worker is very old and also very controlling. Now, when she goes into my work and makes comments, I just laugh. I feel sorry for someone who needs to constantly control others. I have stopped being so pissed off about it and realize that is what this co worker does. She is alone and lonily and very sick, but it's not my problem. Thanks again everyone for all of your feedback. I don't have that new office yet but I have hired a student to help me which makes all the difference in the world. xoxoxoxo

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Good news Mercedes Sounds like "ACCEPTANCE" to me . You have worked it well.

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