The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating. HE came running out and was so angry. He started running his mouth and I got out of the car and was going to walk home. HE came running after me and dragged me back to the car hurting my fingers, wrist and arm. Witnesses called the police, they finally found my husband (who had run away) and he actually asked them to arrest me. HE's alternating between anger at me for filing a report and begging me not to kick him out. The officer said the court with order out patient treatment. I'm not optimistic. He just called me and informed me he is moving out when they release him today
I can relate very much. I am suprised anyone called the police for you. Generally people see and hear nothing. I know no one ever called the police for me.
I tend not to go anywhere when the A is like that because he drives erratically.
I am sorry your family had to witness that.
Are you in touch with some battered women's agencies. They may have groups you can go to. They also have counselors who can help you.
Allow your husband the dignity of making his own mistakes. Allow your HP to protect you. Whatever the flow of events happens, let them happen naturally. Sometimes, HP does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Someone here recently posted see the word SICK SICK SICK across his forehead. Love yourself enough and more that you deserve all the good things HP wants for you.
Time to focus on you, hon. Time to focus on your children. Have faith that it will all turn out into HP's plan. HP can only help us when we surrender (and stop fighting the natural course of events) completely.
I know it's hard during crisis. Try to stay peaceful today. Read, read, read, get to a meeting if you can.
Keep coming, keep posting,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
When he is released, because of his charges he's up on -may you request an officer to stay while he gathers the things he needs? I really believe getting in touch w/ your local womans group would be very helpful. I can almost feel the eggshells. When my ex (the A) was in a mood of sorts, it scared the hell out of me to be in a car w/ him and have the child with us.
(((powerless))) I've been there, too. It is so hard. I think everyone else had some great advice for you. Hang in there, and take care of yourself and your kids.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through! I remember when I filed for divorce from my daughter's dad, I hid the shotgun in the attic under the insulation...even tho he was mild-tempered, he showed signs of aggression when you pissed him off. It's a really scary feeling!
I really do feel for you and your kids. Please take care of yourself and them, and take all the suggestions to heart that everyone here has given you - especially the part about contacting a women's shelter...just in case you need it.
You didn't do this to him, he did it to himself. Keep that in mind - he could have run away when he felt his temper going, he could have gotten out of the car and walked home, trying to calm down - but he did not make those choices. When you chose to get away from the situation, he chose to use violence. He is an adult human being, just as capable of making right choices as you are. He doesn't have to do that hard thing, though, if he has you to cushion the effects of his wrong ones.
My husband would say to me, when I threatened to leave him, "Sure, but remember, YOU are the one who broke up our home, then, YOU are the one who left me. I'M willing to stay and work it out." Sure, he was willing to stay, because no one was giving him any grief. Why shouldn't he stay, with me willing to take the blame for everything? Stay strong.
