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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking?
Post Info TOPIC: ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking?
Barbara


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ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking?
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Its been that way for a while now. Its at the point when I have something to say to him I go down in the basement where he "lives", take one look at him and turn around. I see in his eyes that he's been drinking and I know that the next morning he wont remember a word I say so I may as well forget it!


Just came home from a curriculum meeting at the high school for our son that A husband did not attend.



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whitie


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Barbara,

Well, that sounds like the last 3 years of my marriage. I moved out, he got sober and is now asking me why I wouldn't talk to him at the end.Why bother! I could smell it when I walked into the room he was in. Most times I didn't have to get close enough to see his eyes. And today he can tell me all the facts of our marriage, although he couldn't remember a discussion the night before or me on my birthday, Valentine's Day etc. He also can't remember all the school functions that I took over because he was unreliable. Even his mother credits me for how our well son grew up. Well, somebody had to do it!!!

I expected nothing and wasn't surprised when I got nothing. And having a back up plan is important especially when you have kids to think of.

Take care of yourself and kids.

Whitie

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bcanuck


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I so hear you. If only they could really see themselves through another's eyes, but they can't.


Bonnie



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Bonnie
2D1S


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Best advice I ever got was...never talk to a drunk...I save my breath now...and my A "lived" in the basement too! Problem is deciding "when" I can actually find a "sober" time to say what is needed.


 


-2d1s



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abbyal


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Your on the right track barbara ,save yourself the effort and energy.  I was told I might as well sit a bottle of whatever he drinks on the table and scream at it, cause as long as he was drinking that is what i was talking too anyway. Did it one day and it felt good . I also got the message.   Louise

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Powerless


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I know the feeling.  All I can do is shake my head in pity, frustration, anger....and walk away.  He isn't listening to me when he's high, coming down or thinking about his next fix.  I have learned that no matter what I say, it doesn't do any good.  It doesn't do any good to verbalize my boundaries because he will just argue.  I have to show my husband with actions.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking?