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I am a new member, and I need some advise. We are doing an intervention on my 30-year-old son Monday and I am scared to death! I am afraid he will never speak to me again, but he is using and killing himself and I dont know what else to do. Has anyone done this? I guess I need a comforting word! Thanks
Hello Izzy , I wish u luck with your intervention. I trust u have gone to a professional for help in how to set this up? Stay strong and please find some Al-Anon meetings for yourself. hre is the toll free international number `1-888=4alanon they wll give u info on meeting s in your area.
we also have a chat room that u may find helpful til u find some meetins . just click onto al anon meeting room on this site . bye for now Louise
I haven't been through one myself, but I watch the show on A&E religiously. The one thing I can tell you is that don't make any ultimatums that you cannot keep. This is not to say that you should worry that it will be too hard to keep your word, but know that if you say one thing (for instance, that they cannot live with you/you won't give financial support etc..) and then go back on that, you will have taken a real step backward. find a realistic goal for yourself to help yourself stop enabling him.
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**Everyone is doing the best they can from day to day**
I thank you all. I have the intervention on Monday morning, so on Saturday night I write my letter. I have to find the strength, because boy, was I an enabler! God will get me through I know, though sometimes I forget. I do have a very good counselor who is going to do the intervention. Pray for me over the weekend and pray that my son finds it in himself to get help.
I did an intervention on my A husband last July. I definately know how you are feeling. I was so scared and nervous, but deep down I knew how he would probably respond. I truly felt that being confronted by friends and family that he would accept help and he did. He went to treatment for six weeks and then relapsed after being home for one month. Intervention can be a wonderful thing, but be prepared because trying to help someone who isn't asking for help can often end in relapse. I've learned that addicts are usually more sucessful when they make the decision to reach out for help for themselves.
If your intervention is a success and your son goes to treatment I would definately recommend the family program if his treatment center offers one. Also, it will help you in the long run if you get together with everyone involved in the intervention and come up with a relapse plan. When my husband relapsed I had no ides what to do and definately could have benefited from a plan. Another thing you could do before he leaves treatment, if he goes, is sit down with him and a counselor and write a relapse plan, that way he knows what to expect from you if a relapse happens.
I wouldn't worry to much about whether or not he speaks to you again after this. Usually when you get them away from there drug of choice and into a good program they see the mistakes they have made and feel very badly. If he gets sober he will be grateful to you, if he doesn't, at least you will have the piece of mind that you truly did everything in your power to help him.
Thanks Monica, I needed that tonight. I don't feel very brave! I think I need to find out about a relapse plan, because the program that his insurance covers is only a two week program, and then he has to attend outpatient therapy. His so called "friends" use and how to get him into the right frame of mind is going to be hard. I hope he accepts the help. I will let you know!
