The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful book on codependency and have been trying to detach myself from feeling hurt by this man who chooses alcohol over everything and everybody. Saturday he was so drunk he told me that while we were living at our old house he slept with my daughters best friends mother, who is drop dead gorgeous, Sunday he tells me he was lying and just wanted to hurt me. I don't really know what to think anymore. It feels like he is trying to drive me crazy. He used to be so normal but he is getting more and more cruel, and the strangest thing is it seems like he is cruelist to the people that actually love and care about him.
We had a good life together before alcohol invaded it, I hate it, it is like a cancer that eats its way through everything. I really need to get my life back, he is draining everything out of me. How do I stop worrying about this? I know I am supposed to detach but I really don't know how.
Keep reading! Keep Posting! My A has said and done things that have been so very hurtful, only to come back and say he did those things either to get his way or to hurt me. I read my "Language of Letting Go" everyday! Some days I just open it to where ever it opens and read that page too! Detaching with love is hard, trusting in a HP is hard. But it sounds as though you are on your way. Hang in there, be gentle with yourself.
You don't say if u are attending al anon meeings for your self . here is the toll free number for info in your area. 1-888-4alanon get there quick. Living with an alcoholic distorts our thinking and we do end up a little crazy. but the good news is u can recover.
I really don't understand why your daughter ask him that question or why she chose to repeat his answer to you , I will assume she is young and just trying like the children of alcoholics do , fix things.
Only trying to hurt you !!! is abusive and unexceptable please fing meetings for yourself they will change your life for the better, you will learn about the disease of alcoholism and learn to not let it run your life too.there is nothing u can do about him but alot ucan do for you. good luck Louise
Thanks for your kind words, my daughter is 6, and she was wondering why he didn't say Happy Valentines Day or bring me flowers or anything like her friends dads do, she is such a sweet kid. I have not attended a alanon meeting. I have just kind of thought I could fix things. I am realizing now I can't. I have found where meetings are, but am really nervous about going, will all eyes be on me? I am such a shy person (something else I need to work on) Do I have to speak I hate public speaking or can I just sneak in the back like they do on TV.
I know what I need to do to start healing I just need to get the courage to go.
I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful book on codependency and have been trying to detach myself from feeling hurt by this man who chooses alcohol over everything and everybody. Saturday he was so drunk he told me that while we were living at our old house he slept with my daughters best friends mother, who is drop dead gorgeous, Sunday he tells me he was lying and just wanted to hurt me. I don't really know what to think anymore. It feels like he is trying to drive me crazy. He used to be so normal but he is getting more and more cruel, and the strangest thing is it seems like he is cruelist to the people that actually love and care about him.