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Just wanted to give a quick update and get this down and out of my head.
A/sons lawyer called me this morning. I have to be a character witness. Court is the 23rd of Feb.
He told me that the max sentence for what son is charged with is 10 years in the state pen. The State's Attorney is asking for 4 years, and sons lawyer is asking for most of the sentence to be suspended with court ordered long term inpatient drug rehab.
I guess it was all not that real to me until I talked to the lawyer. I don't know what I will do if he goes to the state penitentiary a long time.
I have to figure out how not to obsess over this for the next week and how to take care of myself and not let the stress of the situation get me down. I am already having stress related physical problems.
I have an appt Friday afternoon to meet with his lawyer to go over the questions he is going to ask me.
I am dreading getting on the stand and being questioned. He said not to get real emotional and not to play up the "it was the drugs" that made him do what he did. Well how am I supposed to do that. It was his addiction that made this mess. I am a cryer too, so asking me not to cry ......no way.
Now I am afraid that I will get up there and make things worse than they already are.
But I have to remember, I didn't get A in this mess, he did.
I have to remember, God will not desert A or I. He never has and He won't now. If I ask that God give me the words to say, He will.
If I ask God for peace to invade my being, He will do it.
my suggestion...be honest. lying for your son will do him no good and will only make you feel bad.
i'm sorry that you are going through this. i know it hurts. maybe this will be a wake up call for your son. maybe watching you on the stand testify, crying, and looking into his eyes will show him just how much you are hurting. i hope all goes well. whatever will be, will be. it's out of your hands, but try to be supportive and loving.
My heart goes out to you. I can only say that I have experienced some of what you are dealing with and I don't know how anyone can not get emotional when it is about their child, it is so different than anything else. I guess I'm saying that caring and getting emotional about your child is normal and it sounds like you are handling it the best you can. I also try to keep my focus on the positive. There is hope that this will be a good thing. You son may be getting another chance to make a different choice in his life. My prayers are with you both.
I will definately be praying for you and your son. So hard to be the parent of an addict/alcoholic! Here is a verse that I've been clinging to......a great reminder for me.
"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?-----Jeremiah 32:27
My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I have a child A and it just so much harder than a spouse A. There are days I struggle just to make it through the day so I know how you feel.
This is a hard time for you. You can only do your best.
What has helped me, when I have had to explain things about my son, is to write down all the events in your family life, then, take a look at them, through your son's eyes. We all know, As dont just happen - this is the family disease.
When my son was in trouble, I looked back - realised, in the space of two years he had lost his favourite uncle, and his father had had a stroke. The main male role models in his life had gone. I thought that was it - then my daughter reminded me - his Youth Club Leader - much loved, had been killed in a car accident, in France - not even a funeral to mark this event. If you look at you son's life, and write everything down, you will get a perspective - agree it is not a good thing to say, just, "It was the drugs". And try to mention some positive things he has done, however long ago, it shows he has some good character traits.
Prison is not the end of the world - so, dont despair. Courts are influenced by the fact that a person has some family support. If his lawyer can offer a program of rehab - that will all help with obtaining a shorter sentence.
Keep posting, keep taking care of yourself - this will pass - and, I hope, the outcome may be the making of your son.
Just a thought here, but I say DO NOT LIE for your son. YOu won't be doing him any favors at all. HE is the master of his own disaster, to quote the song. I have a son coming home from prison next week. I found a wonderful group to help suport me thru that long yr. I actually CAN imagine your fear and worry abut your son facing ten yrs. In my state that means having togoto another state. If my son cannot behave himself ths time he will have to go to Kentucy for another year maybe more. We live in Vermont adnthat's a long way for me travel. I will pray that the court will let him have the in patient rehab. I wish that VT would do something like that. I have to deal with my son and try to help him help himself. He has burnt all his other bridges so to speak. We are all here for you! Love, Mamasan ps, if jail time is what he gets, then let us know. I can refer youto a great group for prison moms,
