The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so furious that my hands are shaking as I type this. I had set a little bit of money aside and planned on going grocery shopping today. I just went into my purse to get the money and $100.00 was gone. Of course he had no idea were it went. He hadn't seen it. He was the only one home and now I know the reason for him sleeping all day today. This is the second weekend in a row. I called an apartment complex I used to live in and they have a three bedroom apartment I can rent. I am looking forward to moving out. The problem is waiting until he goes to work so that I can get away. He will never let me leave if he is in town. I hate to go while he is at work, but it's the only way he will let me get away.
Well think it all through, make a plan, put the plan to others look at the plan. how will the mail go. If he knows where you are he will show up there. Can you forward the mail to a po box. What about changing all the services.
My A conned me out of $200.00 this weekend then lied about it. Then threatened to leave. They are con men that is what they are. They think of no one but themselves. Dont rush to leave, have it all mapped out. Don't give him even a hint of you are leaving. Have it all sketched out how you will go when you will go. The moving of services the works. Don't move till you got it all sketched out. Lean on the room for ways to go. Lean on others for emotional support in the room. Don't lean on people who know the two of you because they may side with him. A's are emotional manipulators and can put on a great great show to others. They do not tell the truth about stealing and manipulating. They are such incredible liars. Everything out of their mouths is a lie. I knew that a long long time ago with the A I just did not take it seriously. I did not take myself seriously.
If you take yourself seriously make this exit a strategy and get yourself a lot of support. They are totally tuned into when you might leave and he will switch to being nice then.
Remember to ACT in your own best interest, rather than REACT to what he does. I know when you think about it, and listen to what your Higher Power is saying, you will do what is best for you.
I once left a BAD relationship when he was at work, I have to say that it was scary and I didn't think I was going to actually do it. Looking back I am so glad that I did. You will be thankful later on for looking after yourself first. Be careful and don't do anything to put yourself in danger. Take care of yourself and you will be fine.
You're anything but powerless! I too left while my a husband was at work. The one thing I wish I would've done before I left is get my address changed with the post office. He held my mail capitive as a way to get me to come pick it up. You might also consideer closing major credit card accounts so you're not responsible for what he might charge.
Don't do anything though until you're sure it's right. Get a lot of help and stay strong. Oh yea, make sure you take your journal! Somehow I forgot mine!
You win the rollercoaster award this week! Addiction and stealing are deal breakers. You do what is best for you and the kids. Know I am always here. You have put up with so much in such a short time. I agree, you are anything , but Powerless.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
