The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so frustrated! My mom is in the hospital 1 mile from my house and I cannot go there to be with her! I have several friends who live less than 5 miles away and I can get no one to call me back to watch my 4 year old while I check on my mother. The hospital does not allow any kids under the age of 12 and offers no facility for them either. So basically if my mother strokes again I cannot even go be by her side. I feel so helpless and angry. I cannot even count the number of times I have done things for these so called "friends". The only people who will even consider helping me out are my alanon sisters from my f2f meeting. But they live too far away to have them watch her easily. So I am saving that favor in case she makes a turn for the worse. In the meantime the weekend goes by and I sit here praying that my mom is good hands. I just cannot get there until after my daughter goes to preschool tomorrow. Geez....I just want to take her a few things to make her more comfortable. It is not like I am asking them to stay all day. It would take me 45 minutes at the most. My mom has always been here to babysit so I have no back up sitter. Sometimes being powerless really sucks!
This sucks!! I hope all goes well with your Mom! & that you find a solution for care soon! (Maybe an elderly neighbour who doesn't go to work anymore would help out? In my street that's possible. & they even love it!!)
In advance, you may want to cut down on the number of things you do for the friends who don't want to - or can't- help you now, and get a 'support system' - several people who can help out, in case one or another can't.
Hi, this is a hard time for you, wish I lived there, I would babysit!! (in a minute, I help my friend, one afternoon per week with nearly 4 daughter, and nearly 2 daughters - twins!).
Andie is right - take stock, is there an elderly lady near you? My guess is, it would be great for both of you, and, older generation understand about helping neighbours, in times of crisis.
Also, I am not a church member, but, I have respect for the community work they do, maybe try them? I am in UK, so different system, we have volunteers for just about everything! Thankfully, there is also a volunteer co-ordinator, I know it sounds terrific, guess the reality may not match up, but, it is worth a try.
Again, I have to agree with Andie, you need a support network, not just for now, but for the future.
Oh yes, one last thought, when my sons were small, I needed childcare for 1 hour after school - looked everywhere, then asked headteacher, lo and behold, the caretaker's wife did childminding! Right there, she lived in the schoolhouse, no need to worry about roads etc. It was only for about a year, but, saved me from losing a good job.
Hope things go well for your mom, my late husband had a stroke, was in wheelchair for 4 and half years - if you want to ask anything, send me a pm. Not to say that I will know the answer! But, if you dont ask - you will never know.
Lots of love, I will be thinking of you, and your mom,
