The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so tired. I feel like I'm starting all over again. I took a lot of crap yesterday and I carried it around like it was gold in a basket. I'm so tired.
I'm starting all over again with step one...not like I've not done this a hundred times. I'm so powerless. It's above and beyond the alcoholism...it is mental abuse. The only thing is I get strong, or atleast feel that way, then I accept all this crap as truths. What is that? If my A was my arm I'd cut it off just to be rid of it.
I'm just so tired. I wonder how I keep getting in this place. I know it's up to me on how long I stay in this place, I took a real nose dive though yesterday and I think I might be here for more than a day....YUCK. This is just crap.
Boy we must be on the same brain waves this week. I had a complete meltdown yesterday as well. Today was a little better, not so emotional. I just remembered what you told me and others have said, fake it till you make it. I know this process is painful, but also quite necessary if I'm to come out on top. We have put up with the crap for so long for many different reason, but I think you are right we can make up our minds not to take it on anymore. Stay strong, I know you will feel better soon. Take care and lots of ((((hugs))))
Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Hehehehehe.....just got off the phone with my sponsor. I'm suppose to stand at the toilet and flush it and say "crap be gone" every time this "crap" comes to mind. LOL By the time I'm finished I should have a whopping water bill and will be worrying about it and not the crap....I can't believe I'm laughing but I am
I too keep finding my self back there at Step One, but the great thing is that I am learning that with the tools of this program, I do not have to stay there. There is hope, that is something that I did not have a few months ago. I not only felt powerless but hopeless. We are all a work in progress and just recognizing where you are at, reaching out, putting yourself at step 1 means that there is a 2 and a 3 and so on... there is a way back. Be kind to yourself. Little by little the amazing power of this program is being revealed to me..
