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I am sitting here feeling very overwhelmed. I Just got off the phone with a probation officer from our local court house. My husband went in this morning to quash a warrant he had and they have decided to keep him in the county jail until the 17th at the earliest. He has 65 days he needs to serve for something completely different, but at this point we don't know what is going on.
My husband and I talked about this last night, and we planned for what to do if this happened. So I was prepared for this. I am even, this may sound way harsh, a little relieved. He needs this. My healthy side knows I am going to be okay, but the unhealthy voice I hear right now is so freaking out. I know he is where his HP wants him to be right now, and so am I where my HP wants me to be.
He will be away from the temptations while in jail, and can make this a positive thing. He went to jail in 2003 from August until December (part of that was inpatient treatment) and he turned into a positive thing by the books he was reading and the meditation and attending meetings. He planned on doing the same thing when he went in to do his 65 days.
I am ok, I will be ok. I just needed to vent.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
hopefully this recent "stint" in jail will help him out. there are always good and bad things that you can learn through situations like this...the good thing=no temptaions with substances in jail--the bad thing=what he is going to do when he gets out. hopefully all goes well with the both of you.
You have such a good attitude about this. Stay as positive as you can, and remember to be good to yourself. I hope your husband can make this a positive situation and take it with him when he's released.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Dolphin, You sound like your working thru this rather well. I especially like how you realize both the good feelings and the bad about the situation. Nice awareness.
Flint,
There are pleny of substances in jail, tho booze probably isn't one of them. LOL
One think there probably is tho are huge consequences if caught w/ those other substances, so it's still a good thing. :)
Bob
-- Edited by bobump at 16:47, 2006-02-09
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I have a "little" understanding where youre coming from. Mother has been on the phone w/me almost every day (some days few times per day) since my brother was sentenced to Bridgewater 11 days ago. He still has 19days to go. His lawyer has told my mother that he thinks brother will go into a hospital for 30days when he gets out.
Sometimes, I used to think - I could handle this much better than my A, or, my son, or, just about anyone I love - I could do that hard stuff.
When my son was committed to a psychiatric ward - all my alanon friends said - he is safe, it is out of your hands, and, from my sponsor -you have 28 days, now, what are you going to do to put your life back on track?
I know, it hurts, to see someone you love brought down to this - and, in our hearts, we think we could have made it better/prevented it - this is step one stuff, we have to admit our powerlessness.
I agree with previous posts - he is where he needs to be, just for now. So, try to focus on you - take care of yourself.
I can relate to that overwhelming feeling. (((((((dolphin))))) My daughter has been in jail 3 times but for short stays. The first time we were in denial and a friend bailed her out and she called home and said she needed help.(she was attending college and withdrew then). The 2nd time I layed in bed all day crying and then bailed her out on my own! When she went to her first treatment outpatient we went to the family meetings. She then moved out of town and relapsed. We called and had her taken to jail the 3rd time from our home. We then decided since she wasn't staying clean and sober that prison would be a good place for her and one that may save her life. Then the judge agreed to an inpatient treatment instead of 3 months of jail with jail as a consequence to not finishing treatment. She was in 60 days and then they transitioned her out to her own apartment. She had some relapses after that but is currently clean and sober for over 6 months or more.
During her second inpatient treatment I found alanon and went to my f2f and online meetings. I put my nose to the grindstone and worked on myself as hard as she was working on herself! I went to 2 meetings a day at times too and worked my steps hard and dilligentally and very seriously. I chatted in here for sometimes an entire day! I took care of me because I did not have to worry about where she as at etc. This is now the time for YOU and YOUR Growth. Do all you can for you now. Get strong, work the program and use your support systems (all of them you may have). Keep on posting and updating us. The best wishes being sent to you and prayers too. IT is my hope that your husband can find sobriety soon too with his and his Higher Powers work. cdb oxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hi Dolphin every negative has a positive. For you I think HP has guided this a little so you can concentrate on your own needs and have time out. Pamper yourself and enjoy the free time for you. Luv Leo xx
