The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just need a place to go to say all this. I went to my meeting Tues and will go to another one on Saturday. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable." My A doesn't drink but I am powerless over him and his actions. He wants to talk about the details of the divorce he wants. He says he wants to be fair and equitable and I said that be moving out you haven't been fair so far. My life has become unmanageable this last week or two. I don't know my part in it. I have big deadlines at work and I have to push myself to do anything. One of my best friends is angry at me. My son in the military called early this morn and I am sure that PTSD has something to do with it but I feel so helpless. I went to bed crying and woke up crying. I ask my higher power for guidance and I can't hear the answers. I know that I am not happy and I know that I need help. I don't know how to let go.
Thank you for sharing how hard things have been for you lately. You've come to the right place!
I don't have any ES&H or words of wisdom, per se, but I have found taking care of myself to be ESSENTIAL in getting through hard times. It doesn't make the hard times go away, but it does enable me to handle those hard times with more strength and confidence.
Mainly, though, I just wanted to send you a hug (((((((((((Nmike)))))))))))))).
A great big hug to you. You have come to a wonderful place to vent and work through your delima. Even when our a is not drinking, there can still be "unfairness" in the relationship. Sometimes because of what the disease has caused in their behavior, and sometimes what it has caused in ours. I know that my expectations could and sometimes still do cause me problems within my own thinking. Going through a divorce is a difficult thing to accept, especially when we are the one who feels deserted in the relationship. I know through my own experience that the only way of getting through that experience myself was to hold onto hope and trust the belief that I have in my HP that carried me through that storm. It has taken me a few years of being separated from my a to know that although there will always be a type of love for him, I no longer need or desire to have him in my life, and as soon as funds allow will file for my divorce as it doesn't appear that he will, even though he was the one who choose to leave the relationship to be with a woman that would share in his disease with him. I hope you will continue to reach out and know that many of us do understand the pain and grief that you are experiencing right now. There is truly no need to feel that your tears are wrong.... I need to share on that note that I too found myself in a "daze" of emotions which lead to a flare of my fibro which lead to a mild depression for which I do take a mild antidepressant for.... should you find yourself still not being able to let go after awhile and know in yourself that you are trying to "work" your program but just can't, please see a physician and get the right help that you need. Thanks for sharing with us!
So much to go through all at once. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. Anyone would feel the same way. Know that you are not alone in this. We have your back. I agree with Mary, things do happen for a reason. We can't see why when it first happens, but in time the answers get revealed to us when we are truly ready to receive them. Stay strong, and be good to yourself.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) got lots on your plate today girl. Easy does it comes to mind. Make a list of things that u need to do.
Prioritise the list and go with" First things First." It feels so good to cross off those chores and before u know it the list will be gone.
Sounds like the only thing u have control over here at the moment is your job. and u need that so to me it would go on top of the list. And as for hubby he will just have to wait til job gets straightened out again. He is the one who wnts the divorce ,so he can wait for you for a change. Take it easy soak in a bath and be good to you.
Nancy time to sit back and look at your health first. You are under a tremendous amount of stress. Do you have any holidays owing? Maybe you could just take two weeks off and go for walks, take your long hot baths, read books and give your body and your immune system a little break. I don't know why your friend is angry but I guess it has something to do with the fact that you are grieving for your husband. Just remember that she is not living this situation at the moment and as an outsider can not possibly understand it. Her actions may be because she feels so much love for you and values you as a friend. Remember the alanon tools and take care of your needs first. You have always been such a wonderful support to others on MIP let us give you a touch of ESH now. Big hugs from Australia. Luv Leo xxx
I feel for you. I've been trough a seperation a few years ago and thought the pain will never end. I got some Anti- depressents from my doctor for the first 2 month because I had to go to TAFE. The medication helped me trough the day and stopped me crying.
