The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well a new week has started. I don't even know what I feel this week. After him using a couple of days last week--we really had some good talks, but I still don't feel like he has accepted things--His lack of control!!! I was a little optimistic last week, but after this weekend I just don't know what to think! Saturday arrived we had to pick up his truck from the shop $600 bill--put on a credit card, that I was trying not to use, because we are already so far in debt, but not enough cash to pay so did what I had to do. Then off to the vet to see the dog where we now have over a $1000 bill. I swear all this comes up so there are more excuses to not get my a back in rehab. I talked to him again on Friday because of course paycheck led to another hit, I told him he needed to go back. He (supposedly) doesn't like the drug having control of him--he still needed help in figuring out what to do when it grabs ahold of him. ANyway, we don't have the money or insurance, now it just seems like everything is against us!!!
OOOOHHHHHHH I just want this to go away!!!!!!!!
Anyway-I know I have to let it go!! I have to do what is best for me. What is that? I just don't know what that is!!!!
Sorry for the unclear thoughts and pity party.
Hope you all have a good week--I just really wanted to vent some.
I can so relate to the overwhelming feeling of everything at once. I have found it very useful to have my sponsor to talk to. She helps me to see things in little steps, rather than the mound of things I see. Little by little I am chipping away at the things I can control, making changes that I can and with each step a little weight it lifted off of me. I can remember the feeling of everything working against my a going into rehab, but I found out later that it was all just a bunch of excuses, where there is a will there is a way.
Thanks for the reply! I know you're right about the excuses! I really don't see him wanting to change right now--unless I catch him in a "high" moment. So I have to take a deep breath and just do what I can for myself and my kids and him-when I can.
