ok so they have those willing to be sponsors raise their hands at the meetings - Al-Anon Family Group

Barbara · ~*Service Worker*~

ok so they have those willing to be sponsors raise their hands at the meetings

lin0606 · ~*Service Worker*~

Your meetings sound so much bigger than those I go to!

Have you heard any of those who raise their hands speak? The way they say to look for a sponsor is to find someone who has what you want, and ask them.

Of course, you are not really risking anything, by asking any of these people. Why don't you go up to them, and ask? If you find, after some time, that this person is not really for you, for whatever reason, you just find someone else. It's not really like chosing a therapist, or something like that. Alanon does not really work in a teacher/pupil way. You are just looking for someone a little further down the road that you want to go down, to show you the path they took.

Barbara · ~*Service Worker*~

The Sat morn f2f I would have to say has about 40ppl every week. After we get together for the beginning (read Steps, announcements, raffle) we usually break into Step, discussion and begineer meetings.

AlaMom · Senior Member

((((Barbara))))

A common saying in our group is that when the student is ready the teacher appears. There are no real answers to your questions. I would say that it would be someone you are comfortable with, who knows their program and can kick you in the butt when you need it. Finding a sponsor is tough but well worth it. Good luck.

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Barbara,

I have found that when I listened week after week, I began to learn their stories. What I found attractive in my sponsor was how positively they worked their program and the serenity they exhibited even during stressful times.

Keep listening and learning, you will quickly pick up on who's authentic.

Maria

Emmie11 · Senior Member

Barbara,

My suggestion in seeking a sponsor is to choose one on a temporary basis for a designated trial period, like one month or six weeks; that way neither you nor the sponsor has to feel like you are making an epic commitment that cannot be reversed. If you reach the end of the trial period and want to go another way, you can-- or if it is working, you can set another time goal, and another after that; sponsorship does not ever have to be a permanent situation or feel constricting.

I think you are on the right track to find someone who has circumstances that match yours, but it is also important to try to choose someone with some time in the program who has some recovery to share-- look for someone who has the confidence, serenity, service, and recovery that you want for yourself. I also suggest choosing a sponsor that uses a sponsor herself. The way I found things out about the people who sponsor me was by attending and really listening at a lot of meetings at more than one group (in the beginning I went to about 6 meetings a week), and after hearing what was shared my decision became clear. I have two sponsors-- one for service, and one for my relationships-- I have already worked the steps with one and am starting the steps with the second. I only work the steps with one at a time, but I stay in regular contact with both of them and am helped a great deal by their individual perspectives of my situation.

Good luck,

Emmie

-- Edited by Emmie11 at 00:07, 2006-02-06

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

I was told that I could take the risk and asked someone I liked to be my sponsor or I could continue to sit in my own misery and sick solutions.

KathyS · Senior Member

When looking for a sponsor it's best to choose someone who has what we want. Who's strong in their program and can help you work through the 12 steps and gain all the benefits this program has to offer.

It's hard to tell just from looking at someone, obviously. Listen to what others share, notice who comes to the meetings consistantly, talk to members after the meeting. Let them know you're looking for a sponsor and ask them questions. Also......many have chosen sponsors right online and it works very well.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.