The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and married filing separately was huge, I should have known better and taken the lesser risk by filing on my own and not jointly.
The IRS took the entire refund, as my AH owed business liabilities for 2007 and 2008. And since I live in a community property state, my entire refund was applied to his liabilities with the IRS, even though they are not my personal liabilities. Oh, and it gets even better. The state took all but $300 since he had parking tickets and DUI fines that I didn't know about. And my AD, who is has been driving his truck without my knowledge, also had unpaid parking tickets that were taken from my refund. Nice, huh?
But you know, at the end of the day, I'm over it already. And all this has come to light in the past two days. This is the last time that this will happen. Do I feel hurt and violated? Yes. But what good will become of it if I get angry or depressed? Sure, I would have liked to have had those extra $$$ right now. But that was not meant to be. For awhile, as I was waiting to find out when I was getting my refunds, I was becoming more and more obsessed. I finally realized that my obsession was taking me away from my HP and from my serenity. That is not a good place to be. So I woke up the other morning and just prayed: "Lord, I'm giving this up and asking you to keep me focused on the real reward- my relationship with You. And please help me find closure on these issues." And you know what? I sensed this amazing calmness and peacefulness. And sure enough, things were revealed over next days.
I had to chuckle a little bit when I realized that when I asked my HP for "closure," I should have been a bit more specific. Oh, I got closure alright, but not quite the closure I was looking for. : )
Oh GE, that stinks! You think you are moving forward and get pulled back to clean up someone else's mess. Sounds like you are dealing with it in a positive way though.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Wow I think this is good because it's just one more thing you can let to of and never have to worry about it again. It's sucks not having the money but you know HP gave you closure that I'm sure needed to happen.
Now ask HP to bring you some good news and continued peace
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
((((Greeneyes)))) Thank you for sharing and I can relate!!!! It's like the door hitting us as we leave, as a reminder of what we're leaving. For me, the messages are clear that I cannot force sanity on someone else, just like I can't wish them to wellness.
Green Eyes, I am so sorry to hear of this upsetting outcome. I love to witness your process and to see what a healthy attitude you evolve as you process a difficult situation through the eyes of recovery.
Aww .. Hugs my friend .. it is ironic how we need to be more aware how and what we ask however you never know .. it may be that HP has a bigger and better plan in the long run .. I'm glad you didn't allow it to wreck your day!
Thanks for sharing, S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
