The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night I talked to a friend and pour all my feeling out to him. Pour guy. He doesn't usually call me during the day. Today, he called just to wish me a better day than yesterday and pump me up to put one foot infront of the other and take action.
This lasted all through the day. I was in a good place "mind wise". I was taking on the world one step at a time. My husband and I are getting a divorce. He is moving out Saturday. We told the kids tonight. It started with him asking me if I was going to start it. So, I did. I answered all their questions...talked about all their fears. He said nothing. Not one thing.
After the kids were in bed. He just stood there starring at me. I asked him why he had me "start" if he wasn't going to say one word. The next thing I know I am crying. Which freaked him out. I am heartless in his eyes and too tough to have emotion. He kept asking me why besides his drinking are we doing this.
My mind was going so fast I couldn't give him an answer other than it is just "too little, too late". We have been down this road time and time again. Now, I need to work on me. I need him gone. I need my kids better. I need my serenity back.
Tomorrow, will be a new day. I will focus on tomorrow when it happens. One day at a time. Moment to moment.
I went through the same thing. I think it is just in their nature again to once again turn everything around and put the blame and responsibility on your shoulders. I know your post was almost exactly the way my A did me when we were getting a divorce.
My heart goes out to you and lots and lots of hugs!!!!!!!
Hi, Ziggy, I am so glad you are here. I hope you also have found a face to face meeting with a list of phone numbers of people you can call when it gets rough. You sound so clear and so courageous to me, right in the face of the alcoholism. And you are making healthy choices for yourself and your children. Keep coming back, it works! Blessings, mebjk
I just wanted to share what a couselor told me once.....we don't have to wait until tomorrow, if things aren't going good during the day, you can just say...."I'm going to start my day over right now!" It has helped me during rough times. Be gentle with yourself.
