The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my AD, who was just 22 years old at the time, had just gotten her second DUI.
Since that time, we lost our home, I separated from my AH, my AD moved out of state and back (and continues to binge drink and is now unemployed), and then my AH died last year at the age of 52 from complications of his drinking (we were in the middle of finalizing our divorce after 30 years of marriage). My AD blames me for her dad's death and has not talked to me since his passing.
But, you know, through all of this, I have learned so much and have gained so much serenity. I am hopeful for the future- if I can come through all that I have, I can handle deal with whatever else life brings my way. And to top things off things off in a positive way, I found out that my AH had a life insurance policy that I never knew he had paid for in full. So I will be okay financially, praise God.
Here as some of the "gems" that I have learned and lived by through my years in Al-Anon that have gotten me to where I am today:
"Rejection is God's protection."
"'No' is a complete sentence."
"When nothing happens, nothing happens."
"Detach with love."
"Don't try to buy bread at a hardware store."
"Get off his back. Get out of his way. Get onto yourself. Get to meetings. Give him to God."
"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life." (Courage to Change, Feb. 1)
The three A's: "Awareness, acceptance, action."
"Picture the alcoholic with an 'SSS" on his forward. And 'SSS' stands for Sick, Sick, Sick."
The three C's "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it."
"When in doubt, don't."
"Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't say it mean."
"Stay on your side of the street."
"What others think of me is none of my business."
In reference to my HP: "I can't, He can, I'll let Him."
JADE: "Don't judge, argue, defend or explain" when dealing with the alcoholic.
And, of course, my favorite, "One day at a time."
Thank you HP, thank you fellow Al-Anon members, thank you MIP, and thank you to my sponsor. I definitely couldn't have done it alone.
It works when you work it!
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Friday 14th of February 2014 02:09:48 AM
Thank you! Trying to find the courage to get to a meeting. I've gone to one or two in the past but never go back. I really don't like sharing my feelings but I have to because I'm suffering and hurting. If meetings helped you this much....I'll give it another try.
amazing share I have not heard that one before rejection is gods protection LOVE IT !!!
and again HP brought a newcomer to HP to read your positive share who is now going to try meetings again. You are an example of how much we gain if we keep coming back and put the effort in.
Al anon has also changed me and my life beyond recognition , I do not know how I lived without it!!
I learn something every time I go to a meeting, convention, read or speak to others.
It's now been 8 years. No new progress to report on my AD, but I'm doing fine and life is good. So thankful for the gifts of Al-anon!
Green Eyes wrote:
This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my AD, who was just 22 years old at the time, had just gotten her second DUI.
Since that time, we lost our home, I separated from my AH, my AD moved out of state and back (and continues to binge drink and is now unemployed), and then my AH died last year at the age of 52 from complications of his drinking (we were in the middle of finalizing our divorce after 30 years of marriage). My AD blames me for her dad's death and has not talked to me since his passing.
But, you know, through all of this, I have learned so much and have gained so much serenity. I am hopeful for the future- if I can come through all that I have, I can handle deal with whatever else life brings my way. And to top things off things off in a positive way, I found out that my AH had a life insurance policy that I never knew he had paid for in full. So I will be okay financially, praise God.
Here as some of the "gems" that I have learned and lived by through my years in Al-Anon that have gotten me to where I am today:
"Rejection is God's protection."
"'No' is a complete sentence."
"When nothing happens, nothing happens."
"Detach with love."
"Don't try to buy bread at a hardware store."
"Get off his back. Get out of his way. Get onto yourself. Get to meetings. Give him to God."
"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life." (Courage to Change, Feb. 1)
The three A's: "Awareness, acceptance, action."
"Picture the alcoholic with an 'SSS" on his forward. And 'SSS' stands for Sick, Sick, Sick."
The three C's "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it."
"When in doubt, don't."
"Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't say it mean."
"Stay on your side of the street."
"What others think of me is none of my business."
In reference to my HP: "I can't, He can, I'll let Him."
JADE: "Don't judge, argue, defend or explain" when dealing with the alcoholic.
And, of course, my favorite, "One day at a time."
Thank you HP, thank you fellow Al-Anon members, thank you MIP, and thank you to my sponsor. I definitely couldn't have done it alone.
It works when you work it!
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Friday 14th of February 2014 02:09:48 AM
Congrats GreenEyes. I always look forward to your posts. Has it been 5 years already????Where does the time go. I don't know the date I came to Alanon. I only know what year it was. 1995. I can tell you this. The wonders you will find are only just beginning.
__________________
Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
I love it Green Eyes...inspiring just where I need to hear it...in my spiritual center. I feel more confident and centered....Congratulations and thanks again. ((((hugs))))
Green Eyes - congratulations and good on you!!!!!!! Thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us. Great, great post!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
