The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to Florida this weekend to visit my new friend who I met in Chicago. I had a blast - he took me to Sanibel Island for the weekend which was gorgeous, bought me two dozen roses, treated me to a terrific trip. We crammed alot in two days - went to the beach both days to watch the sunset, sunrise, go beachcombing, drink margaritas, etc; went out with his cousin for drinks, shopping, exploring, picture taking, talking and getting to know each other, sat in a hammock at night looking at the stars...it was everything I didnt expect :).
There was some time I had to myself when he walked back to the room to go make us drinks that I walked into the surf and was trying to catch shells as they got churned around. I had my Ipod blarring and I just started thinking about what I have been through this year. I couldnt be any more grateful for what I have experienced from dating my A, to breaking my arm, to finding out about his addiction, to breaking up with him, to being miserable and finding alanon, to buying my new business, to getting my new job, to going to Chicago, to meeting new people, and to living my best life and just going with the flow. I started thinking about my ex and the rollercoaster ride I had been on for 8 years. It was tough to hear all the things this guy was saying to me - about how much he really enjoys my company and feels connected to me, and how having me a part of his life, it makes him somehow feel he does more in his own life. I've heard all these things before from my A - and then have him tell me he doesnt deserve to have me in his life. That he is too much of a sh-thead do be worthy of me. What is it about me? Do I really bring out these qualities in people - its not the first time I have heard it, nor is it the second or third. Is it bullsh-it or is it something about my personality?
In some ways I really missed my ex this weekend - but in MANY ways, he wasnt there in my head or my heart. How can I so quickly be getting over him? It was only 3 months ago we were talking so seriously...
What a great healing has taken place and how much you have to show for all your hard work in the program! I don't have an answer to your 'perplexion', but it does sound as if you have made peace with your past and are moving on. Yay, Cyn!
(((((((((((((Cyn))))))))))) It is probably natural to wonder if this is real or not. But yes, there are poeple out there who are genuine and healthy. What I am doing now is trying to live in the moment and enjoy the blessings coming my way! Remember the saying though that Talk is Cheap, Watch the Behavior! It seems this guy has the behavior so far doesn't it? Only time will tell and I say enoy it while you can! xoxoxoxo cdb I am happy for you!
