The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
1) What if I choose to be on that negative road of despair & hopeless thought, ya know that "you" road, it's "your fault", "you should have"? And what if he too stays on this negative road? Well, I guess then there are two lost lives, or souls? or What if he finally reaches sobriety, and I'm not there on that same plane, that same higher road because I'm on my lonely road of despair & hopelessness? Whatever his choice, if I stay on this lonely & negative road, that would be my choice. His choice does not have to affect my choice.
2) What if I choose to be on that higher road, the "I" road? And what if he never gets on that higher road himself? Well, I suppose I could always go forward w/o him. At least it won't be two lives lost on that negative, despairing road! Also, it's sad but he's not dead, and there's always a chance he'll make it. His choice will not affect my choice.
3) What if I choose to be on that "I" road for myself? If & when my spouse reaches his road of sobriety, I will already be there on that higher road, waiting. My choice is to live my life, so that I have a life to be able to share with him when he makes his own choice.
In each case, in each road, I have a choice. I will choose #3. #2 will be my back up plan, but I refuse to take that 1st road anymore.
I can and will do all that I can with what I have.
i chose #2. i highly doubt that my father will ever want to change. so i am going on with my life. i feel sorry for him, but am tired of feeling sorry for myself. s i am taking the I road.
I want road #3. Right now that is taking so much work!!! Last week, I failed miserably at that road. I hope to get there soon. I don't think I've ever really made it there, but it is where I will strive to be.
Thanks for the "hey--it's your choice--get it together!" pump!
