The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This was sent to me from my aunt, I hope it's not too preachy (will leave some of it out) I happen to love the story. Since she knows my on going goal (ok quest) of “letting go” and “detachment” I believe that my HP (God for me) was working when she told me of this and then sent the e-mail
*****
The story is told of two monks who had gone on a day's journey. During the day the weather had become very nasty. On the way home that evening they had to cross a flooded fjord where a woman who needed help to get to the other side was waiting. Seeing her dilemma one of the monks picked her up and carried her across.
Later that evening the monk who didn't help the woman condemned the one who did saying, "You were wrong this afternoon helping that lady. You know that in our order we are to have no dealings with the opposite sex."
To which the other monk replied, "I carried her only across the stream. You are carrying her still."
***** When we carry hurts, grudges, resentments, guilt, grief or any unresolved issues from the past and fail to let go of them, we contaminate our present relationships with them. As another said, "Every unshed tear [and unresolved negative emotion] is a prism through which all of life's hurts are distorted."
True, we are to forget the past but we can't until we resolve it. Repressing hurts isn't forgetting them. All it does is bury them where they will take root, gather interest and come out in other damaging ways at a later time—either emotionally, relationally, physically, and/or spiritually.
We need to get all of these pains off our chest, express them in creative ways, forgive whoever has hurt us, and then let go of them. Only then can we truly forget those negative things which are behind and get on with our life free of these encumbrances.
Funny thing - the person I learned it from is my A. Yes, the same grudge holding, suspicious person who never forgot a word spoken by the other side in an argument, who remembered details of resentments twenty years old. To me it shows that he knew, all along, how harmful this was to his mental health, but was unable to stop, despite his best intentions and desires. Sorta like the drinking.
Not preachyat all! I loved it! Probably because it is something I definately am needing to work on right now. Somedays I still find myself carrying my past problems around with me....and I love the image of carrying them across a flowing river....Its hard to walk across a river without carrying a load! Soooooo much harder trying to fight your way across with the added weight and instability of a heavy load. It is so much easier to flow through my day when I am not caught up in the garbage from the past.
Thanks Tea!!!! Great thoughts to start my day with!!!
Thanks for sharing this tea. With all the talk about letting go and detachment on the board it seems like something so many of us could enjoy and get something out of. I know I could.
Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I want to thank you so much for this post. It was incredible! There is no question that my HP wanted me to read this.
I have a lot of issues that keep coming up and creating some really bad panic attacks. I know that I need to get these pains off my chest but it has been very difficult. I am hoping the next time this happens I will be able to remember this and move on.
I so often think I should just accept things, & let go. I then find resentment b/c I can't let go.
It's more clearer to me know that I should set boundaries, express in a good way my feelings, resolve, then let go. It makes so much more sense! Thanks.
