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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Confusion
Post Info TOPIC: Confusion
Kim2


Newbie

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Posts: 2
Date:
Confusion
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I'm hurting badly and just want someone who will understand to "hear" me.  My alcoholic husband is playing serious head games with me and I've gotten so caught up in them it's making me sick, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I've gone to Al-Anon meetings for almost 6 years but have slacked off in the last couple of years which I know is not helping my situation.  I'm just so tired of dealing with this disease.  We've been together over 20 years and I have lost hope.  I don't feel capable of dealing with this anymore but am afraid to let go.  I know I shouldn't be focusing on him but his actions are seriously affecting me.  The lies and other women just never seem to stop.  I know I shouldn't make any serious decisions while I'm in this state but I can not do this anymore.  I feel like I'm going insane.  Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.


 



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flintfeet


Veteran Member

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Posts: 96
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my mother was married to my father for 22yrs. i think the majority of the time, she asked herself why??? he was a great father and fun to be around (at first). it ended up getting bad and then worse-which it tends to do. after a while she got "Crazy" too. i don't know if this is the right thing to do, but it worked for her. she told him to choose her or to drink. he chose to drink. she left him 6yrs ago,  and finally has someone new in her life that treats her like the queen she always was. i'm proud of her for sticking to her guns. her leaving was the best decision she ever made.


now he is so bad that we (his kids) don't even talk to him. he just got really bad. i'm thankful that my mom left when she did. it gave her a chance at having a happier life. when she's happy, everyone who surrounds her is happy. it's a beautiful thing.


i don't know if this helps. you only get 1 life. do you want to spend it like this? or do you want to see if your prince charming is out there? only you can answer that.


  lol---flint



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Rebecca


Senior Member

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Posts: 178
Date:
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((((((((((((KIM2)))))))))))


thought you could do with a big hug.


it never ends...does it? it feels like one big huge ball of confusion, anger,, hurt, pain, heartache, depression and hopelessness.


im 24... i left my ex last august kim, it was THEE hardest decison of my life... i remember one night after a huge screaming match after begging him to stay at home with me and not go out drinking or meet his scumbag friends.. he went anyway.. as i was on my knees bawling my eyes out on the floor in the hallway... the pain in my heart..i had never felt anything like it in my life kim.. i thought i was dying slowly from the inside out.


i never ever thought that pain would ease... for weeks i didnt eat, called in sick to work and couldnt stop crying and when i did sleep it was sooo full of nightmares i would wake up in a sweat afraid and all alone. the anxiousness in my chest would not lift... i sank into depression.


kim..listen to me honey... it will get better..there will come a time when you can make it throu the day with a smile and maybe even a laugh. the pain will ease...slowly yes...but it will ease. i lost my soulmate... i know that. i love him to bits still... adore his bones... but i cannot accept his lifestyle and his decisions. in truth... i cannot control him kim...


however much i want to... i cant.


when i joined here first i kept saying to myself..."oh my god, these people know nothing of what im feeling..know nothing of how im feeling..realy.... they dont know ho much i love him..and how the pain hurts"...... but kim... they do.... everyone here has the same story...


they have been hurt by someone they love(d) and cannot cope alone with the horrible disease of ADDICTIONS!


try and stay strong for yourself hun... read a book... watch a comedy movie, have a bath.... dont ring him...ring around looking for him... your life is CERTAINLY not over kim...trust me.... YOU HAVE US!!!!


im always here..... you can e-mail me anytime you want.... alanon24@yahoo.com


luv rebecca xxx


 



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Rebecca Murphy
cdb


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1197
Date:
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Hello Kim,


I do hear you and feel I understand. You can read my post above and see where our lives have similarities. I think the posts notsonew put are so good and think if you read them they may give you some perspective and comfort. Deciding whether to stay or leave is such a hard decison for some. I know for me, when or if the time comes, I am going to have a plan and take my time to leave in order to protect me emotionally and financially. Just know that people here do understand how you feel and you are not alone! Keep on posting and reading your alanon literature. Knowing I was not alone was a big help for me! (((((Kim))))) So sorry for your pain. I will say prayers for you! cdb xoxoxoxoxo



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