The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just came back from the doctor. He took blood and the results should be back on Tuesday. Please pray although I know that I am preparing for the worst. I've researched and read everything, I asked the doctor a million questions and although he was very kind, I still feel anxious. I have been trying to get on with my daily activities, I go to work, I do what I need, but most people have notcied a significant difference in me. I don't know how to respond to them other than I have a lot to do and I'm busy.
I'm lucky enough to have friends who are HIV+ and have been a great support. One of my friends even came with me today to the doctor. I don't want to tell my parents as they are going through enough with my dad's cancer, I can't spring this on them now.
I get my results Tuesday, ironically, the same day that my A is expecting me to pick him up from treatment. I have an appointment with his counselor on Sunday morning. Quite frankly, I'm so angry I don't want to be anywhere near him. I don't think it would be good for him, or me. I want to bash his skull in in some ways, (although I'd probably be more at risk if I did that..lol..) and in some ways I'm angry at myself. I feel like I'm being punished in some way for making poor choices.
I'm trying to look at ways of managing this. I just need ALOT of prayer. Thank you all for your continued support.
Kim: I am so proud of you for taking care of yourself. I am glad that you are using the group as a vehicle to lean on. I am glad that you are also selecting where you go for support. That is so crucial. good for you kim.
Hi Kim not sure what the background is on your blood tests but please know that you are in my prayers. I will ask HP to give you strength whatever the outcome. Luv Leo x
Continued prayes from me too! Stay strong and stay postitive if possible. I have found to take my time before springing things on my parents over the years when I look back. I use to call them immediately and now I see how waiting would not have been such a bad idea. A person needs time to digest the information and accept things for themselves too. And if your dad has cancer, they sure have alot to deal with anyway. Big Prayers for you! cdb xoxoxoxoxox (((healing hugs))))
