The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am an alcoholic, I need your help. Don't lecture me, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having TB or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease too.
Don't pour out my liquor; it's a waste because I can always find ways of getting more. Don't let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad opinion about myself. I hate myself enough already. Don't let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent. My sense of guilt will be increased, and you will feel resentful. Don't accept my promises. I'll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them at the time. Don't make empty threats.
. Once you have made a decision, stick to it. Don't believe everything I tell you; it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I'm likely to lose respect for those I can fool easily. and u know it. Don't let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice. Don't cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drinking. Don't lie for me, pay my bills, or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help.
I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you provide an automatic escape for the consequences of my drinking. Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me. . Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with al-anon members. They're the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly. I love you. Your Alcoholic
Sorry, but I don't believe anymore that alcoholism can be compared to diabetes. Diabetes is not treated by other diabetics or with talking daily at meetings with other diabetics about how you've destroyed your life, your family's life and friends. If only there was a medication or a shot for alcoholism, but there isn't. I think people try to classify it as a disease because they don't know how else to take it. We don't see commercials on TV promoting diabetes or cancer, it's not sold in stores, it's not handed out at parties.
I know that people don't choose to be alcoholic, just like nobody chooses to be diabetic, but alcoholics chose to continue their destruction, sometimes even years after having stopped. And then in their and our treatment we're taught to only think of ourselves. Well it's a good thing that not everyone in the world were alcoholic, or living with an alcoholic, because if we all had to do this therapy, and ONLY think of OURSELVES, the world would be a sorry place.
Thank you standing up for your understanding of a desices..I to belive Addiction is a learn behave pattern of choices. some people have no coping skill. to help them make good chooices....Cancer is not learn it take over the body...with out a chooice..... But forgivening the addict is really simple.......who would want that life. that they think is a real live..the on going pain they have to live in day after day....God help them and give us mrucy for them....
Well Edna as I have said I have had issues with working around people who might have active TB. I was very upset that I was potentially exposed to that. I do think we can have resentments about any illness. My own A was diagnosed with a muscle disorder last year. I bent over backwards and went through my savings helping him. His family did nothing. All they gave was one small bag of groceries one time and his brother picked him up from the hospital one time that's it. I normally would have tremendous resentments about that. I have let that go. I have had to be a member of this program to say I did that with love. But i do not choose to help him that much more because I reached my limit of giving. Thankfully at the present time he is in remission but long term I know I would not be able to give until I have nothing again in that way and then experience that level of resentment and the denial from his family no.
I have a friend who is looking at having a potentially terminal illness and I am very limited in my response to him. I have to say normally I would have gone to see him and been there for him on many levels. I recognize today that I do not have that to give. So I do not think I do not have issues with those with illnesses. My own mother too had a lot of problems before she died and the care of her was very very taxing on my younger sister. I know she is not sorry she did help but I also know that she would have preferred that my mother access more resources and through her mental ilness and her dysfunction she put a tremendous burden on her.
I have my own illnesses including asthma and I have a lot of issues with accepting that, managing that and getting the right treatment. There is a parallel to that in alcoholism because I have to in some ways be very careful where I go and how I live my life. I was in Walmart the other night and the floor had been cleaned. Before I knew it I was wheezing so now I will have to bring my inhaler with me and be careful about the time I go. I also met someone in another program who I like and I would like to meet her than I find out she smokes. I cannot rail against that but I also know better than to ask her to quit smoking. There are limitations for all of us. I have my disease too including my own issues which brought me to al-anon and I have to accept work with and deal with my limitations. I can recognize the A's tremendous limitations but alcholism is a bit like diabetes in many ways cunning baffling and powerful. I have to say that I do not like the idea that I have so little control over anything at all and that is my some of my deep seated issue at the end of the day.
THis is a bunch of crap. Alcoholism can't be compared to diabetes or cancer. An alcoholic can go to treatment and take care of this if they wanted to. They think they're having fun. Someone with diabetes or cancer doesn't have the choice. They have to take what treatment they can and hope that it helps. They don't get their disease from hanging out at bars. It's not a "learned" behavior. It's not a disease as far as I'm concerned and I find it offensive to even consider this crap a disease. My mother died of cancer. THAT was a disease that she had no control over. My alcholic husband could go to treatment and stop drinking and quit making those of us around him miserable. I was miserable with my mother's cancer, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. I hate alcoholics and I hate what they do to everyone around them. They should stay away from the rest of us and just stick with each other.
