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I had a long talk with a long time friend of mine last night that disturbed me. She recently has gone through this born again Christian thing where she all of a sudden is cramming HER religion down my throat. I have my own faith - I got in touch with it again within the last 4 months - how could I not - look at all the fantastic and not so fantastic things that have happened? I have to believe there is a higher power and that there are paths I need to follow and things I need to start listening to. So I was explaining to her about all of these things and she got snippy with me. I didn’t understand why nor did I ask. Then she went on a tirade about her nephew and how her brother makes him say “Grace” before every meal and how much of a hypocrite he is because he doesn’t actually participate in his faith. And then she went on to say how I pissed her off before when I was explaining what was going on in my life because I don’t actually participate in my faith either. I stopped her and said she was dead wrong – that I do participate in my faith. I had to remind her that I participated in bible study and went on mission trips over the summer in HS and she claimed – oh well I blocked most of my HS experience out so I didn’t remember. That I may not be able to go to church because I am working 3 jobs and running around crazy from 8am -10pm everyday – but I pray every day and have a strong connection with my higher power (so I feel). She then gave me a lecture as to that if I didn’t have time to go to church that I could read the bible everyday instead. I wanted to lose it!
I believe we all chose to have faith in God or not and I don’t think any one person should be telling me how to participate in it. That’s between myself and God. She then got of the phone with me saying that now that she knows I have a strong faith she can pray for me differently. I wanted to throw up!! What happened to my friend? She all of a sudden changed – all because she wanted to date a guy who was a Christian and he wouldn’t get involved with her because she wasn’t. He is a challenge for her – and now she has him…what will happen next??
i think i am leaning with you. first off, no one can tell you how your relationship with god is. only you know that. don't let her make you feel bad...that's not very christian like, is it? good luck with your friend.
I try to steer clear of religion conversations, but when stuff like that comes up I gently remind them that knowing our HP is not a religious churchy thing, it is spiritual connection. I can report for duty every day, not just Sunday.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My sis in law is born again as well. She would always try to push her view on others and us including during our son's first communion.
What is funny is that since I've found my recovery and I've found some spirituality we have had some coversations about our HP without this happening as much. The other thing is my sis in law is an A. She lost everything including her kids while hitting many bottoms. Her new found religion was literally her program. She'll talk about her religion and how different aspects helped her to recover and I'll laugh and say.....Hey that's step X.
I just had to share to as how I totally understand the aversion when someone tries to shove their religion down my throat and my slightly different outcome with someone similiar.
Makes me appreciate our tradtion or attraction rather than promotion. :)
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I had to respond to your post, especially as I am a Christian.
As a Christian I am taught to carry the message of my faith to others, not cram it down their throat , I have found out that just like with an "A" preaching doesn't work. There was a time I stepped away from my faith and my parents were cramming me full of their views. All this did was make me angry and resentful, and push me further away from their views.
The important thins is that this doesn't happen from someone in that program. That is the great thing about the 12 step porgrams, is that many of us come back to our faith or find faith or whatever the case may be because of the freedom to have an HP of our own understanding. And having the ability to worship or not in our own way.
If that was my sis, I would point out that before the cities and towns were as concentrated as they are now, people used to worship in their own homes because there may not have been an established church near them, and not attending church , did not affect their ability to have faith or whatever.
LOL, basically you are doing the best you can with what you have, and it works for you, so keep it up.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
My way of stopping that bs is saying: Thank good ness it is not my job to judge.
You might read Matthew, then slip the place where the ,"Sermon on the Mount" is to her. I know for me, if someone wants to know about my faith, I keep it simple and say i do my best to be like Jesus.
I offer what I know the Bible says, it is up to others if they are curious to look for it. Not unlike we cannot make an A go to rehab. It has to be done becuz it is in your heart.
go to 1 corinthians 4-13. simple as that. it will tell you who is telling you the truth and if you are getting the truth.
Some people in all religions are pushy. I am not into that. Jesus did not send out invitations or deman. He had a truth to offer and teach and a message and a sacrifice to fulfill.
pushing only makes people feel like they are in a corner and uncomfy like you.
I am a Jehovahs Witness. I do my best to be what the Bible expects, I have been blessed with so much, one being, alanon. Surrendering works. I am sure of it. I am not even surprised anymore when things work out. i know it will be ok no matter what. i don't even know the outcome, but know it will be ok.
Anyway if you can just listen and smile. Don't take it personal. Remember to say I feel .... what ever. hmmm interesting. I love to say ok lets sit down sometime and have a bible study and you show me where you get that. I am not kidding usually they cannot do it.
For me if it is not in the Bible, forget it. Any Bible usually has the basic same thing.
i like mine becuz it is directly from the original scrolls. plus since it is Greek and hebrew and we have to decipher it. so sometimes things come together and we realize the meaning of a certain word is different than we thought! usually we are close, but i think it is neat that we have people constantly working on it.
We have such great computer ideas and skills many have taken our ideas for business and their own religion.
I love humility, love to listen to others. All I can do is be a good person to reflect what i really know is true. Pushing or hurting people, to me is wrong.
anyway this is my experience. You be good for you and keep searching for the truth, what i always say is, i invite you to pray to our creator in Jesus name and ask for the truth and guidance to be the kind of person the creator wants me to be....
In my eperience I have learned to use my boundaries for this type of thing. I do however enjoy learning about other's religions/ beliefs/ faiths since I am pretty open minded. My boundary however lately has been to not discuss religion at all. Just politely explain I am not going to discuss this subject but how about we talk about something else we have in common :) I also believe that people are an example of their beliefs/ religion by how they act and live. The biggest wittness to me is by the admiration I have for some people in how they live thier life. It makes a person feel like they want to be like them. What a better witness than that. I see that in alanon too. By living an alanon life and not arguing over things like the steps or if someone did the step work wrong, one shows how truly the program works. Boundaries are for us and you can plain and simply just say you are not going to discuss it. your friend in recovery, cdb xoxoxxoxo
