The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am in a terrible place and need support. Last night I found out that my A has tested positive for the Hep C antibody. While in treatment he was tested. He will need to follow up once he leaves (1/31) in order to confirm but that is not for another week when he gets out. I can't tell you all that I am at the end of my proverbial rope, I am scared, angry at him and myself. Obviously, his actions have had consequences. But this is MY HEALTH. My ability to lead a normal life. I have been doing so well taking care of myself. Detaching. Taking care of me. Now what?
I have made an appointment with my doctor on Thursday. Until then I sit and wait in panic. I can't think straight, I've cried for hours and I can't get out of my own way. Please pray for me. I need some E,S and H.
You've done the main thing, which is made an appointment to see your doctor. Now, you can spend the time in between then and now worrying, or living. It will make no difference to the outcome which you do.
Sure, easy for me to say, I know. Still, as best you can, try not to worry.
My heart goes out to you! Naomi Judd has that too and may have a website about it. She is currently in remission. Try to have hope if you can now and learn what you can about it. I just hate how we have to wait for doctor appointments too during such upset and crisis! I will say prayers for you. Try to stay in the now and live in the moment the best you can. Thursday will soon be here. Know that you already have people that care! ((((((((KIM)))))) cdb xoxoxoxo
I would agree with debilyn the chance of getting hep c is up there. My exhusband had hep c lied to me that the blood bank was saying something else when they rejected his blood. I did not get it. I have been tested.
I also need to be tested again. I know as someone who needs al-anon I can over -react.
I have to be careful in my over reactions because I can make myself sick with them. worrying yourself to death is not going to help you deal with the test then going back for the results. What can you do to take care of you and that may mean not dealing with him for a while or as little as possible. A's are notorious for not taking care of their health.
I can understand your over reaction because I think A's have one issue after another. I think they need chaos in order to justify their actions. If I do not react with over reaction he cannot play me in the same way he normally does. If I am taking care of me I am less vulnerable to his acting out and I can stand firm on my boundaries. If I am off kilter he can get to me in many many ways. For some reason A's seem to want to get under those boundaries.
I have often railed against the a that he did not care for my health. The issue is that he doesn't seem to care about much at all. I can get all caught up in that he does not care for and love me when in fact no one can when they do not love themselves. And I don't think an a can be loved into recovery either. Having gone to hear many an A's stories I did not hear anyone to date share the love of any woman or man got them into recovery. Sometimes i think a lot of people never really know what the bottom is and for some of them it is death.
I am glad that you are taking care of you. I need to get very very good at taking care of me. It is my current project I am trying to make it the favorite one.
