The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for the replies to my post yesterday. It was just what I needed to hear! I made an appointment with my therapist and my doctor this morning to review my medication.
I got an email today from the guy I am seeing. I am mad at myself about the time I wasted yesterday wondering why he hadn't contacted me. But, today is a new day, and I will be productive.
I feel absolutely lost when it comes to dating. I am 30, and I have met and dated so many guys. One of my friends tells me that if I really wanted to be married, I would be. I suppose that is true.
I met someone at the gym, and he is so attentive. He calls, emails all the time. He is very interested. I told him I just want to be friends. My reasoning for this is pretty weak. He's a great guy. I am guessing his availability is turning me off.
I read in Pia Mellody's Love Addiction book that there is no right time to try having a relationship when in recovery. I waited seven months after my last breakup to give myself some time.
Now I almost feel like I have made no progress. I have been praying and I say affirmations throughout the day to myself.
My therapist told me a few months ago that I can't reprogram 30 years worth of dysfunction in a couple of months.
Practice makes perfect I guess.
Thanks for listening. I feel much better now that I vented a bit!!
When my "A" and I split up for about a year (this was a few years ago) I never thought I could date again. I took it slow and then met someone we talked alot on the phone and on the net, but not in person. Funny thing is he was an "A" to. I live in Washington and he lived in New York, lol, that far away and I still found me an "A". That is when someone told me my "picker" is broken. A few months later this other guy started talking about coming out here, and then my "A" and I got back together (Really long story).
My point is that the whole time I was talking to the long distance guy, I saw signs and ignored them, I knew I wasn't ready. When I was, it was my "A" (We had rebuilt a friendship, and at that time he had almost a year, I think he was 2 weeks shy of a year sober/clean when we got back together) who I started dating again. I knew I was ready at that point, and it was really like dating a different person.
Pray, meditate, talk it out.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I never know that I am ready for a relationship - I know that I am 31 and still dating first this one and now that one. My longest relationship was a year and a half - most last about 3 months.
All I can do is take it a little bit at a time and learn to be honest with myself about the relationship.
As a side note - my ex was single for approx 18months before dating me. And still feels she is not ready for a relationship.
You likely don't have to guess...you know this to be true! The thing is, not all guys know how to play coy or aloof mind games...and some of the ones that do, are jerks, LOL.
(Rhetorically speaking) What is it about people in general always wanting "more", always wanting the things they cannot likely attain? Why does the grass always have to be greener on the other side? Why can't it be green on your or my side? Maybe it isn't greener over there afterall?
-- Edited by Amanda at 22:56, 2006-01-23
-- Edited by Amanda at 23:42, 2006-01-23
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The mind is like a parachute - it works best when it is open!
The thing is, not all guys know how to play coy or aloof mind games...and some of the ones that do, are jerks, LOL.