The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time posting on any site whatsoever so please bear with me. Briefly my fella has had a problem with drink for the last 6 years but the past 8 months have been the worst. He has been in rehab a couple of times but got nothing out of it. He has tried AA , 4 weeks sober then New years day off again..The last 3 major binges have been awful, how does someone get so low as to lie in bed all day, use a bucket at the side of the bed for a toilet because they cant or wont walk there. He will stay ther for up to 2 weeks, the bedroom gets such a mess and I usually clean the aftermath up. But the last binge was hard to live with so I walked out and stayed at a cousins. although I called each day to check he was ok. I am use to the name calling, the slagging off, money disappearing etc etc etc but this time he had hit me. It was whilst I was away I went to my first Al-Anon meeting, wow what a relief to know I am normal and not some horrible person he describes. I learnt from my first meeting to leave him to get on with getting himself sober and sorting out his own mess, which I did. I saw him last night as I was coming away from my meeting, he was sober and had gone back to AA, we talked for ages probably the most direct I have ever been. He told the usual ... how sorry he was and how he wants afuture together. I said I would think about it, I have decide to go back and give it one last try. What I want to know is does al-anon really help you to understand and live with an alcoholic, I want to try but I know now I do need some help from somewhere but not sure yet where that somewhere is. I will keep going back to al anon.
Sorry if this is'nt making sense just felt like I need to do it. All your postings seem to make much more sense than this.
Penny: I am glad that you are here. Whether you choose to stay with the alcoholic or leave Al-anon will help you. The program isn't about fixing him its about supporting you.
I hope you will choose to go to some meetings and post here often.
Glad you are here. Al Anon helps me to be at peace in all areas in my life since I was affected by another's alcoholism. It is different for everyone, whether you stay or leave, the steps and slogans really help me find my center and not be drawn into other's problems. I've also found it keeps me in my own reality, the lies and manipulations are so much easier to see. Keep coming back.
Hi Pen keep posting to us here and we will support you in any way we can. This family will pick you up when you are at your lowest. Someone is always here as we come from all over the world. Al-anon will teach you to look after you. Whatever decision you make regarding your relationship we will not judge you. Please however look after your safety first we care about you. Big hugs from Australia and keep your chin up. Luv Leo x
Welcome! It sounds as though you have taken the first important step--Al-Anon. Don't worry about getting it all at once--you won't and it will take going over and over to get some of it. That's how I feel anyway. I'm no where near being where I need to be, but I think one day I might get closer!
I agree with Leo--safety first! If you decide to give it one more shot with your a, that's fine, but before you move back in you might want to think about setting boundaries first! And let him know what those boundaries are and what the consequences will be if those boundaries are crossed (like the hitting). Just a thought!!!!
Hope you find this website and the meetings helpful and encouraging!
whatever you decide...don't let him abuse you. whether it is physical, emotional,...ect. it's all bad for you. be you, and if he wants to be with you he'll want to make you happy. what makes you happy (besides him sober)?
