that is so commonplace, in the argument of "Christianity" vs. "being religious", with the latter one being people's interpretation of what one "should or shouldn't do" with respect to our beliefs.....

The program of Al-Anon, although Christian based, has proven over the years to be available and helpful for everyone who wants or needs it...  The 12 Steps and Traditions are as applicable outside the world of addictions (i.e. in every day life), as they are within the chaotic realm of alcoholism...

We often read here, and in other places, people's (including myself!) interpretations of what Al-Anon stands for.... Depending on where WE are with our headspace, or particular circumstances, we can quite easily "rationalize" that Al-Anon either "tells us we should stay, and put up with unacceptable behavior", or conversely that Al-Anon "tells us we should leave, and be done with the addict for good".

The truth, of course, is that Al-Anon teached neither.  What Al-Anon DOES teach us is that we have choices.... we have choices to take care of ourselves, regardless of the situations surrounding us...  We can find serenity, when we become healthier ourselves.  Our relationship with ourselves (i.e. our spirituality) is a major focus, and as we become healthier, the right answers, for us, become more clear to see....

Like most, I entered the doors of Al-Anon in desperate times, hoping that they would teach me what to do to make my wife stop drinking....  I was initially very disillusioned that they would not, nor could not, help me with that.  It took me a long while to accept that this disease of alcholism had done the level of damage to me, to the point that I needed help.... But my life truly HAD become unmanageable, and I can thank Al-Anon, and the help of many wise oldtimers before me, for the foundation on which to base MY recovery.

I ended up leaving, as many do....  Many others stay....  Al-Anon does NOT exclude either one of us, from utilizing the program and tools that are there for our own serenity.  The tools provided in Al-Anon are life-tested over many, many years, and they have helped far more people than they have not.  Not unlike our A's, Al-Anon really only works for us, when we allow it to do so....

Just my two cents...

Tom