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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Letting Go
Post Info TOPIC: Letting Go
tea2


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Letting Go
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This is the ongoing / reoccurring theme for me at this time, whether it be my father calling me after four months and being “sick” or my ex husband being “sick” regarding our son.


I had posted a thread on the message board asking what “letting go” meant to you – I felt there was more to it, that I was missing something and welcomed all experience, strength and hope -wisdom from others.
This morning I came across a paper that was given to me at a meeting over a year ago I wrote the date on top also see I made a note on the bottom that reads “Can’t Comprehend”  
I wrote what I felt on this at that time which I sometimes do at my meetings -so I can look into a subject later. Also believe my HP brought this back to me at this point in my recovery for a reason.
This was a wonderful find for me and happy I came across it.

I am not sure of the source, so if it’s a quote pls excuse.

Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else


To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another


To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from the natural consequences


To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands


To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself


To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about


To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive


To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being


To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their destines


To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality


To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept


To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them


To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it


To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be


To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future


To "let go" is to fear less and love more



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serenity is a gift
Jennifer


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Hi Tea2,


Thanks for this post. I can put this to good use


Jennifer



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doxie


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Thanks so much for this tea2.


I am printing it out.


Doxie



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just me


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Thanks Tes!


 


I needed to hear that today.  So glad u r here. 


 


Julia



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wille


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awesome share
to me to let go
now
is to turn around n
go
No scream
no slap
to just to
run if I have to
my a - five years - promises
to always b there.
We have a cash obligation
to one another in my name - lol
he says he will be there.
Thanks to the program I learn
to let go of the unmet promises
he made and to gentlely let him
go.
He knows I come here and that I
use my real name and that my focus
is to get over it - to include his unmet
a promises. It is a disease afterall.
Great share
\/\/ille


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wille
Jerry F


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Aloha Tea Great share.  It brought back memories of early recovery.  I also did not understand and also had soooo much trouble with letting go.  I had to stop trying to understand (head) and just trust and practice what others were doing on it and force the practice down into my subconscious rather than try to handle it in my consciousness.  That worked and overtime it has become a character asset that is so valueable.  Keep practicing and coming back.

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Christy


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Great post tea.

To me, "letting go" is real high priority..
It pertains to about anything that pisses me off or that I'm getting nothing but aggrivation from along with all the stuff you mentioned.

Letting go" also holds hands with "hand it over".

Christy


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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
nycbt


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Thank you for posting.

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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Cruise 06


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Hello, I'm not sure who I'm repling to and i have never been on a message board. But, I wish I knew how to let go! Can u let go if u r still in a relationship that has u so confused and so tired of broken promises that u could just give up?


I would really like some feed back, if u need to know about me, I'll be more than happy to chat!


I'm a newbie to this; so be patient w/me as I get comfortable and learn.


Thanks


Patty



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Patty Taylor
lin0606


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Hi, cruise, welcome. Can you get to face to face meetings in your area? There is a link at the top of the page that will help you find the schedule. If you can, that will be really helpful to you.
I bet if you read through old posts here, you will find things that speak to you, and will start to see something of how our program works. Just the fact that you are asking *how* to let go is a sign that you are taking the first baby step. Give yourself time, do some reading, and things will gradually become clearer.
It is possible to let go enough, even when living right in the heart of active drinking, to keep yourself sane. Even to find some real joy and serenity. We start by focusing on ourselves, remembering that there is not much we can do about the alcoholic, but there is a lot we can do about ourselves.

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Cruise 06


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Thx for the welcome. What else is available for those of us that are adult children of alcoholics. I'm just at the point right now that i'm so nervous just thinking he is coming home soon. I never know what to expect and as far as being myself, well.....it's as though that just isn't allowed.


I don't know how much more I can take. I would appreciate any other encouraging words...



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Patty Taylor
lin0606


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Cruise, you might find the book "From Survival to Recovery" helpful - it is the stories of children of A's and can give real hope that there is serenity our there for you. You can get it through this website, through sites like amazon or ebay, from bookstores, from the public library, or, best of all, thourgh your local face to face meeting. Please go, if at all possible. You will find encouragment and acceptance there that will help so much.

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Maria123


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((((((Cruise))))))))


You found this website.  A good first step.  Under the main page www.12stepforums.net there's an ACOA board but many of us here on Al Anon are ACOA's and/or married to an A or living with a A, etc.


We also have Chat which I find is invaluable.  Especially meetings and the times are posted.


Call your local alanon or AA number in the phone book and get to a meeting.  For me, there's no substitution for the welcoming and hugs and understanding I have received from those who were in my shoes and are living wonderful, happy productive lives whether or not their A is still drinking or not.


Keep coming, keep sharing and welcome to MIP hope to see you online.


Maria123



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If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?
Jerry F


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Aloha Cruise...I sounded just like you did on this post just before coming into the program for real.  I was also afraid that she would leave me forever and just as afraid that she was coming back.  I got on the Al Anon hotline and spoke with a member who told me to stay on the phone and not hang up out of fear of being found out because, "my life depended on it."  Some how I found the courage to do that and to get to my first real face to face meetings.  I was openly accepted and told to keep coming back.  I heard so many things that applied to me and saw so many people who were relaxed and happy who had worse experiences than me.  I just kept coming back and listening and trying others experiences.  


Your own words describe your readiness to let go.  Let go of him for and hour or two and go to a face to face meeting in your area.  After that one plan to get to as many as you can for the next 90 days (one day at a time).  You should be experiencing some very positive changes by then.  Get the literature and read as much as you can about alcoholism and the effect it has on families, friends, jobs, bodies, minds, etc etc etc.  and....keep coming back here because you are qualified for the family groups.


 


(((((hugs))))) Jerry F



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