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Post Info TOPIC: Trying no to give advice...


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 853
Date:
Trying no to give advice...


Good Afternoon Group,


A friend came to me this morning and opened up that she was having trouble in her life, with her emotions, her job, and disappointments that she has encountered in her immediate past.  I really tried to just listen and not give advice because I always seem to do that with people.  I'm not an expert and the advice I give may not help that person's situation.  It has also come to my attention that in my life I have been really good at telling other people what they should do to help themselves but not take my own advice.  I usually feel really crappy about myself after I've told someone what they need to do and I reflect and think, well, I don't do that either.  So I tried to listen, but its hard, this overwhelming anxiety came over me that was pushing me to say something to her.  I tried to give her encouraging words, like give it to HP, but to me it did not seem like it was enough. 


For me as a codependant I find that I want to go above and beyond for people but I don't give myself that kind of attention, I'm working on it though.  This program has really helped me to seperate myself from other people's problems and be able to sit back and acknowledge the blessings I do have in my life.  Thanks for listening, I just wanted to share that today.


Have a great day, Hugs


Twinmom~



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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 465
Date:

Thanks Twinmom. I find myself in all you wrote.


Hugs to you today.


Doxie



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1328
Date:

Shaun,


I to do that when I am talling to a friend. It is hard to not "help" in our own little ways.


Much Love,



__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 729
Date:

"For me as a codependant I find that I want to go above and beyond for people but I don't give myself that kind of attention, I'm working on it though."


 


rosie>>>> yep,  i can SO relate to this...i'll tell you this program DOES work, becuz i do not do this anymore.....i dont WANT to do it......i am so grateful for that...when someone ASKS my advice, i just try to keep the focus on me...like   "this is what i did...................."   or "if that were me i would..................."   than  leave it!!!!!!   to me , u did gr8.........peace/ rosie



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rosie light shines
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