The material presented
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This is my first post using a new screen name. Thought it was best to choose something a little more obscure than what I had been using.
I'm heartbroken....I found a used condom (sorry to be gross) in my car yesterday. I guess I never believed that my A would cross that line. I've been on the fence about what I'm going to do, but this was the last straw. I'm surprised at how sad and hurt I feel. I had convinced myself I was moving beyond him and ready to let go, but I guess I haven't let go as much as I thought I have. I spent the day in bed today. It's so hard to put on the happy face in front of my kids, but you do what you have to.
I haven't told him I found it. I kind of feel like there's no point. I'm sure he'll deny it which will make me crazy.
I did go to my meeting this week which was very helpful. I'm so thankful to have Al-Anon in my life.
It is hard to know what exactly to say because I'm sure you are in so much pain right now and nothing we can say will take it all away, though some may help.
Big hugs to you!
I hope you can find peace in this somewhere, if not for anything else, the confirmation you needed.
I really relate to the difficulty in putting on a happy face with the children. That is SO HARD. When I have trouble with that, I try to just remember just how pure the children's love is and how truly wonderful they are.
Your sentiment that you haven't said anything yet to him kinda sounds like apathy - which is normal if you've been hurt repeatedly by him and you're spent. After awhile, we leave the relationship emotionally and that is our way of coping. By the time I left my ex (physically left) I was so gone emotionally. That you know he will deny it anyway is really saying something about him and about you. You're strong and will get through this. Just take care of you and your kids. Focus on you and focus on them.
I am sooooo sorry to hear what you are going through. There is something about the reality of it that is devastating. You are right, what's the point in talking about it, it only gives them the opportunity to make excuses. I'm so sorry for the pain you must be experiencing right now. You are not alone, we are here for you. You deserve so much better, hun. Keep your head up and follow your gut instincts.
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can only imagine. I can relate, somewhat.I don't think my a would cross that line, but sometimes I think he has, I just don't have proof. I have caught him going onto online dating sites. And he denies it of course. That is what they do. Just try to stay strong. I think I would probably do the same thing if I were you. I wish I had better advice, but you are in my thoughts, and I am sure your HP will guide you through it!
I have had this happen to me before I was married in a previous relationship and it feels like a knife going through your heart. I remember confronting my partner and saying I wanted your love not your pity why did you stay with me? We split and 3 months later he came back and realized his mistake but it was too late the trust was broken and I was not the same girl he had left then. It triggered good changes in my life I decided I wasn't going to rely on a male again and I travelled overseas. You deserve better but only you can decide how you want to deal with it in the future. Thinking of you and remember to take care of you first you are a good person. Luv Leo xx
I am sorry to hear this ..it is so hurtful and we try over and over to believe them..only to be lef down again..If you can, do something nice for yourself this weekend..treat yourself to some bubblebath and ice cream..my prayers and thought are with you..Huggs to you!
I can't thank you all enough for your kind words and support. I'm still struggling and it's killing me to pretend nothing is wrong when I see my A, but I'm hanging in there. I'm very lucky to have a supportive family who are behind me 100%.
Your posts have helped me more than you know. Thank you.
(((((((((((((((fmw)))))))))))))))))))) im so sorry for what your going through. i know what your going through as my a has cheated on me before. i never in a million years thought he would do that. i didnt think he could but he did. that was about a year and a half ago, and yes i stayed. i have no idea why i did. i always said i never could stay if that happened. but i dont think i was strong enough to leave and i was so insecure. this was before alanon. i know now if it ever happened again i would be gone in two seconds. two years later and things are slowly getting better. the trust is completly gone and i have nightmares and am questioning if he has done it again. even if i know where he has been 24 hours of everyday i have found myself even thinking oh maybe on his lunch break at work he found someone. this sounds so crazy and it literally f**ked me up, what he did. im begining to let it go finally but it still hurts. so your not alone. i just wanted to share with you how it was for me in staying in the situation. what was your other name on the boards?????
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
