Things are going ok today. I set a few goals for myself: to take down the Christmas decorations and tree and then clean the main floor of the house. I am almost done, the snow day is helping, cannot go anywhere, snowed in at the moment. I tend to go, go, go, I suppose it is avoidance.

My husband calls a couple of times a day and I have seen him a few times over the weekend. We have had some nice conversations and he is not presently pressuring me to come home. Although, he does get a dig in here and there, like his back hurts from sleeping on the couch. I just don't react at all, (there is a bed there, he refuses to sleep in it), not my issue. I have not intention of changing my decision any time in the near future, but do not bring it up. He wouldn't get it anyway.

My mom is going to the orthopedic today, I hope it goes well. My step daughter is not going to go down there. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. As much as I felt it would be a great opportunity for her, she just cannot see beyond today. Again, not my issue. My husband was very upset with her choice, and I suppose did not handle the conversation well. I was not there for it, only got it second hand from both of them. She said he was disappointed in her decision. I calmly told her that I am too, but it is her decision to make. She is looking for support in her decision. That I Cannot do, but I will accept it and let it go. My mom spoke to her brother and he is willing to come down to help her out. This is a relationship my mom has been working hard on the last few years after having lost her mother. (they too grew up in an alcoholic home) So I am happy that he will be there. She said she'll have him do some guy-things for her.

I wasn't able to keep my appt. for the ecocardiogram, rescheduled for Thursday. I am nervous about it. Who should have to be worrying about heart issues at 36. I will add this to my list of things I am lifting up to my Higher Power. Although, at this exact moment the chest pain is cerainly acting up.

So, all in all, in this moment, I am ok. It will likely change in five minutes, but for right this second, it is ok. Trying not to fixate on the if onlys. Sure isn't easy.

Thank you all so much for your support. It is much needed and much appreciated. This board has been my saving grace.

Lynn