The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so sorry this has happened. And so glad you are looking out for your stepson as well as for your own kids.
In many towns there are Al-Anon meetings that provide free childcare. If you call the local Al-Anon number they should be able to tell you which ones they are. I hope you will do everything you can to find meetings because, as you know, addiction is too big a situation to handle all alone. When you find a good meeting you can start looking for a sponsor and that will be another great asset in moving forward and figuring out how to deal with this terrible and challenging situation.
It sounds as if you have already experienced the Three C's: You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it, you can't Control it. Many of us spend years trying to control it. If there were a way, we would have found it by now.
I wonder if a lawyer might also be able to tell you some of your options about your stepson. Sometimes they know strategies that we wouldn't have considered.
As it is, as you know, addiction brings enormous chaos to a family. I hope you can protect your children as best as you can. You've made a great start by getting help. Read all the threads on here, get the Al-Anon literature, find meetings, and keep coming back. Hugs!
I checked out meeting in my area a while back and non offered child care, most were when I drop kids off in morning or in evening without child care, and I just can't make them. I have expereinced the 3 C's I struggle with not being able to control his problems sometimes. I keep the kids insulated from it and stabile. They are fairly young, and I try to make sure they are the least affected I can. However, I feel like I leaf blowing where he goes sometimes. I am trying to calm down and think through what I need to do for me and my family and I need to first get a job so I KNOW I won't be broke and worried everytime there is a crisis. I can pay bills and function on my own. After that, not sure.. lol
I'm so sorry that none of your local meetings have childcare. Way down the line, when things are stable and good, you might want to talk to some of the meetings about how to get some childcare for them, because I'm sure you're not the only one who could use it.
I was a single parent when my son was very little and I know the frustration of not having childcare. In a way it's not your biggest problem but in a way it is because if you can't get to Al-Anon meetings then you have much less support going forward with this, and going forward is the biggest problem. When my son was little, I practically stalked other parents in an effort to make contacts among them. I joined playgroups, parenting groups, hung out at the playground, and enrolled my son in 2 hours of daycare per week (the smallest amount). The other parents were frazzled and busy but I kept after that, proposing playdates for our kids. Of course initially you go over with your kids and they come over with theirs. But after a while we got to know each other well enough that we would just drop the kids off at the other person's place. Then! Freedom!! Two hours (or even more) to go and do -- whatever. Including Al-Anon meetings.
I know this is a longterm plan and you are needing support right now. There are also online meetings at this site. You could also swing by some meetings in your town just at the end and pick up the literature and maybe chat with a few people about the childcare situation. I'm sorry it's so challenging right now, and I hope the way clears soon.
I did the online meeting tonight and think I will stick with that for a while. I have alist of names and a book form a while back when I attended a F2F meeting. I may just go there when I can prob won't be regular. but get a combination. Thanks though.
