The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities."Basic Text p. 44Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.
>>>rosie>>>> i am not sure about this first sentence....i find that when i pray, i can release me/ i can experience closeness with me/ hp, but doing things beyond my capacity??? well if surviving what i went through is one of them than ok.......and yes, my coping skills are horrible!! my "learned helplessness" shows its ugly head every time life throws a "cannot control" thing at me...and i know i am powerless...for me?? powerlessness meant death by inches....powerlessness meant NO say in my own body/ mind/ emotions/ my soul....powerlessness is a scary thing for me....i am telling my inner child, that we CAN control what happens in our own skin..but that is all....s*** happens, and we can control sometimes, lots of times no!!! so to release me from it is the ONLY option rather than cursing and fighting it.....trying to fight and protect...i wore my self out trying to fight/resist life....now i just want to go with the tide, and do my best.......... learnign how to cope with the unpleasentrys of life, i am practicing my new leanred skills on that very thing among my many other things i need to "REprogram"
If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement.Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often.Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated.
>>>rosie>>yep, with me it was FORCING my way, through something....grinding my teeth "white knuckling" it until i was exhausted....getting mad by the minute at my "helplessness" instead of backing off and giving it a rest and ME a rest...releasing the karma from me.......i have bad coping skills, for me it was REact and in a panic state OR a frozen state......i am getting better, but have much to go.....the frequency is not as bad....intensity is shorter, anyway....duration is less, and i am aware almost immediately and than i can STOP....BREATHE.....BACK OFF.......feel the FEELINGS, and than WAIT....than MOVE or RELEASE........i do cope SOME better, and i can find humour, even, in some stuff.......yes, BREATHE.....talk to my hp as i understand it when i feel frustrated.....for me it is the learned helplessness that i must overcome and i will do it on a ONE day at a time basis.......
