Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Tigger · Senior Member

THE Gifts/PROMISES OF ALANON

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: : THE PROMISES OF ALANON

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I love it and live it! Thanks for this share!

Jen · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for posting them Tigger. I love the promises of Al-Anon and the ones for AA as well. I had been meaning to look them up again and here they are. Is that HP in action or what?

Natasha · Newbie

Thank you. Just what I needed to hear right now. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. I am so tired of feeling in such despair. I know there is hope. I just need to do the next right thing and turn my situation over to God.

Tairaruth · Newbie

I .. am not yet convinced that these will happen .. for me .. even though I have in the past. I am taking this as a very good indication that I need to get back into the program despite being so very busy with work and school. We are in the middle of reading week from school.. and yesterday I got to go to a meeting that I haven't been able to attend in a very long time. It felt good to be back in that room with all of the smiles and love and I can't wait until April when school is over with and hopefully I will be able to go back again more often.

I want to thank you for the promises.... even though right now, they appear so far beyond me .. I know that I am at the right place.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

It felt good to read through these today

Sincerely · Senior Member

RE: THE PROMISES OF ALANON

tortuga · Senior Member

Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will grow naturally....
it's great to see it happen, it really give me hope to move on....
thanks to (((MIP)))

seacoast61 · Newbie

Although it may not be easy the slogans are very helpful. One Day At A Time

Wounds take time to heal

Dove · Newbie

New to Alanon as a member, but I've been lurking on boards and webpages for months. Thank you for posting this. And I'm very thankful to know that I'm not alone as I struggle with my husbands recovery. There is a plan, and promises as I work the plan. Thank you for your support and encouragment.

recoveryhope · Member

Thanks for sharing, Tigger. :)

I love reading the promises.

I believe the promises give hope to the newcomer and they remind folks already in the program changes that will occur if we continue to work our program. :)

FAITH1988 · Veteran Member

Thank you Tigger

Fear will be replaced by a faith.

{{Faith}}

SerenitySoon · Member

Thank you.

DebraAnnRegan · Newbie

Hi, I am newby and having a hard time dealing w my boyfriends disease. He was going for his 2nd pint of 151. Last year he drank 2 or 3 in two days and got violent and punched my son in the back of the head and pushed my daughter. Because of this I wasn't allowed to see my kids (teenagers) for a while. And now a year or so later, he is starting to drink more excessive again and its always my fault. I need help.

ConcernedMomma · Newbie

I love these and am convinced that if I continue to go to meetings and remind myself of these that it will help me tremendously. This has been a life saver for me so far. I am already looking at everything so differently.

MNmom · Newbie

I have been engaged to analcoholic for almost 5 years. We have 2 small children together and a home. He is functional in the way that he holds down a job. Other than that he is highly dysfunctional. I cannot leave my children alone with him when I work on Saturday's and I have to ask my parents to watch my kids. My parents are frustrated and tell me that they are enabling him to drink while I say my kids safety is the ultimate concern (they are 2 and 3)......He has gotten a DUI with my babies in the back seat of the car when they were only 6 months and 2 years old. I am forced to do all of the caregiving for our children while he sits in the basement and drinks, I cannot do anything other than watch my kids and go to work because I don't trust him. He acts as though he doesn't care about me what so ever, has called me horrible names, constantly criticizing me and complaining that I don't do enough, I don't pay enough bills, attached my appearance, when I was pregnant and developed acne and gained weight, he would call me names constantly. I am 120 pounds and feel fat and ugly because he will say it to me. We recently went to a wedding and he hit on other woman right in front of me---it is so awful. He has never told me he loves me, he has never shown any appreciation for me....I have made every single meal, changed every single diaper, dressed our kids every day, went to all doctor appointments alone, woke up with them every time, I feel like a single mother.

There are moments when we really do get along, it can change on the drop of a dime and he can be pleasant and sweet to me.

There are moments as well where we fight all day long from the time I get up til we go to bed. The fighting is more than ever lately.....I cannot financially make it without him but I don't want this for my kids.

I think of myself before I met him, a gorgeous, happy fun loving woman who wad independent, very picky about who I dated and I had the world at at my finger tips. I dream of "that fictional man" who I was waiting to sweep me off my feet, I want to be in love again and with som Now I can barely look in the mirror, I'm constantly worried, sad ....even attempted suicide last year.

I never thought this would be my life and even though I know somewhere I am still strong and I'm a good mom and I don't drink....I am stuck, alone and feel like I will be forever.

Butterfly1 · Newbie

Thank You !!!!!!! My first time reading the Al-anon Promises....WOW!!!

Shoeluvr · Newbie

Truly my HP brings before me exactly what I need each day. I just signed up to this board today. The promises remind me of how much freedom I have today because of this glorious program. Just like amends, gaining compassion for others I find is for me...I am the beneficiary of having compassion and tolerance for others...I become happy, joyous, and free! Thank you for sharing the promises.

Miamamamia · Member

thanks for sharing New to the group and new to Al-anon , I love it need to learn how to live it , I feel scared and alone, who I was i no longer am but who's to blame but myself

EveNYC · Newbie

blankstare Thanks for posting this. I have formatted the text and made a pdf for my wall. I printed it out on pink paper. If anyone wants the pdf I am attaching it.

Dee F · Member

So good to read. Thank you for posting this. smile

AbbasGirl · Newbie

RE: THE Gifts/PROMISES OF ALANON

SunshineGirl · Senior Member

An absolute joy to read. Thank you for posting this, Tigger. I want to work towards and receive all these gifts.

NewMorning · Newbie

Good day,

I felt encouraged reading this post and the replies.

I am growing to and living with the mystery and joy of life.

Thank you all who risk and share your feelings, thoughts, and day to days.

tpotterf · Member

Thank you for posting this.

hopeful777 · Newbie

Wow always good to read, I need the reminders daily!

readysetgo · Newbie

First visit to this page, to any Al Anon forum - read this and I feel HUGGED with hope and understanding. Thru happy tears I read words of gifts greater than I could have ever dreamed. My cousin pointed me in this direction and from what I can tell, I have a lot of work ahead and much to gain...and a cousin to thank.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Great Tammy I am glad you are here and pray that you keep cominng back.
You are worth it.

Gracie02 · Newbie

I have been am dating an alcoholic for a year and when I read that your man does not tell you he loves you and constantly criticizes your appearance and tells you, you are overweight, I was stunned. I am living that life too. We do not have children or live together, but he won't admit he is an alcoholic and has a DUI that of course, is not his fault. He also has a disabling back injury and is taking pain pills with his alcohol.

When he met me. he thought I was just perfect. Now, I don't dress to please him, exercise enough and he doesn't like my cat or that I enjoy reading. We have known each other distantly for over 10 years.

I started Al Anon to fix him, but after only two months I see it is helping me. I am that strong courageous woman, I always have been, and by attending my meeting I want to recover. Slow moving, but there is no timeline. I am praying to my H.P., and feel and know I want that peace and serenity. I am trying to realize I cannot fix his addictions and that I am not giving up on me. I am the work in progress and am working on Letting go and letting God one day at a time. Thank you.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Gracie Keep showing up you are so worth it,

Damagedone · Newbie

I am willing to do this work. The past 4 years in my last relationship with my EX has messed me up. I think is my biography. Time to live for me now and not him. I still do love him and always, but I cannot change him. In the past, I went to one Ala-non meeting as well as AA meetings with him, but his sobriety never lasted long . In that Ala-non meeting, I learned the term codependent. Although, we are not together romantically anymore, we still remain in contact. He is in prison right now. Claims he has hit rock bottom. But I have heard that before.

-- Edited by Damagedone on Saturday 18th of April 2015 02:40:50 PM

LedfootJenny · Senior Member

"We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. "

This promise keeps me focused and full of hope.

I will continue to look at me, my feels, actions, deficits and gifts so that I can understand more fully who I really am.

LedfootJenny · Senior Member

LOL - sorry, I should state "this GIFT vs promise"

Silverbee · Newbie

Thanks so much for posting Tigger!

Broken513 · Senior Member

Thank you! I am glad I read this post. I think I am right where I belong. I look forward to that day when it comes, to be able to breathe again!

Dave2554 · Veteran Member

I LOVE #5 ... 'Our lives no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others' ... I see this promise realized every time I attend a Face to Face meeting, or come to this board to read what all of you have come to share. How amazing is it, that despite all that we have gone through, that we are all able to come here, or go to meetings, and hear and share so much Experience, Strength and Hope!

cspwil · Member

such a good post. I am glad to read this to help remind me that this is a process and we do not have to lose ourselves because there is hope

mom 2 five · Member

Thank you for posting this. This is my first time reading the promises and I am so hopeful now. I know I found the right place, my HP let me here and this is where I need to be. Thank you

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

mom 2 five - I am so happy that you are looking around and finding hope!!! (((Hugs)))

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene