The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I stayed in town this year. My husband (the Hindu) has no history of celebrating Christmas other than what I have shown him. This year we're doing what I like. The parties were over the past few weeks. Cooking was minimal, but we shopped for almost-prepared food and finished cooking it at home. Great idea, it was delicious, the dinner was on my Christmas dishes and well you get the idea. It was just we 2. I played the music I like. We even danced a bit.
My sister, still in our hometown, cringes at the scaled down Christmas we have. That is the only bite that makes me feel bad. I'll call her soon to thank for gifts (still haven't done the opening gifts part yet), and I wonder if I'll try to make my day sound more glam than it is and than i want it to be. Anyway this is just right for me this year. It's taken me a lot of false starts to get here, but today and last night were serenity. Peace on earth right here for now.
Thanks Jill. I am doing a simple holiday too. At least in my house. I just told the boys that I think they have most everything that they need. My tree has two decorations on it. I baked one batch of cookies only. The family is coming over - we rented a place. I intend to ask everyone to help. I realize now that I was the one who created the stress and had the choice to change. Alanon tools help.
I am Jewish & my wife (qualifier) has celebrated Xmas her entire life. When her folks were still alive we would visit with our young kids & gourge on opening presents. This is how most of our family xmas's have also been. This year we discussed & agreed on limits, but I didn't do much of the childrens shopping. My son just 13 wanted something I didn't think was appropiate and we agreed he would not get it, it snowed early here and he agreed that a any early gift that he could use in snow play would be the best substitue. Then my wife over spent on our young daughter & she had more gifts to open. Now of course my son is dissapointed having already received & used his Xmas gift. He shared his dissapointment with some tears shed & asked we buy him what he really wanted in the first place. I had some muted disscussion with my wife, she wants to buy what he wants & fix his sadness & I disagreed. She made some contray opinions in front of my son so now I've thrown in the towel. I'm angry with my wife & also my son for he really just wants things on his terms only. (he really seems into imediate gratification & this concerns me what will he want next Xmas or next week!)
As I write this this seems so petty but I'm so unhappy. I find my self isolating & not be part of this Xmas. I know I need to be their for my kids but my suppressed anger & sadness is very obvious, but boy am I confused I want out of this pitty pot. I found a meeting tonight & that should help. I would like some sharing & meditation sugestions on this.
