The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
sorry im posting so much. my a is safe at his moms. so i feel better. but still mad about him relapsing. wont know anything till tomorrow. he said i'll stil go out of town with you. screw that. im not going. im not going anywhere with him.
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
The alanon program teachs us to take care of ourselves so that WE will be well, whether our alcoholic drinks or not.
Do you go to face to face meetings? At those meetings they give out phone lists and then you have someone to call when things are bad.
Do you have a sponsor? For my friend and I once we got a sponsor they helped us to deal with the obsessive behaviour of worrying out our alcoholics and put the focus back where it belongs, on ourselves
(((Notsonewone)))
I am glad that you kept posting for support when you felt so bad, good work! :)
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Just got on the board and have been reading all your messages sorry I wasn't on earlier to help out it is Xmas Eve here and 9.20pm. Please go on your trip don't let your A control your happiness and spoil Xmas for you are you able to get yourself there without him? Enjoy what you had planned for you. If you stay home you are worried about him anyway. In the meantime you are the one getting sick with all the stress. Put the focus back on making you the most important person in your life. Here for you keep posting. Luv Leo xx
How many nights do we lay awake, crying, obsessing, miserable, scared and worried, whle the A, the supposed cause of all this, has not a care in the world? He's out flying high, we're home going crazy. We don't have to do this. We can't control them, but we can make choices for ourselves.
I keep quite a bit of alanon Literature around the house, I find reading it (forcing myself to, sometimes, at first) helps me break out of the cycle. The serenity prayer is good, too. Music on the bedside radio, or talk (those middle of the night documentary programs you can find on the radio), something I can concentrate on as I allow my mind to let go of the A, and get some sleep.
I have definitely been there and done that. Now I simply turn it over to God rather than worry about his health, sanity and finances. I am not in charge of him no matter how much he lumps that on me. I am also not in charge of his mother who seems to think I am put on earth to be a mirror for her. I have given up that a long long time ago but not the resentment at her for not being the woman I needed so this next year I am going to work on letting go of that resentment its not doing anything for me. Sometimes I think in the past I had to have resentments as a way of reinforcing boundaries now I don't.
