The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On Wednesday I had checked to make sure a bill I paid had cleared. I discovered again that my husband had helped himself to the money and the check had bounced. I called him very angrily and told him that the check had bounced and that he had no right to take the money. He got flustered and said he was going to go and borrow money from his father and would replace the money. When he went home to borrow the money he thought he thought his father was sleeping. He went to wake him and couldn't. He wasn't asleep but unconciouse. The ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital.
When my husband called me from the hospital late Wednesday night he siad to me, "by the way thanks for bitching at me earlier." I told him now wasn't the time for this that I knew he was upset, but please not to start. He told me, he wasn't he really needed to thank me for bitching. I asked what he was talking about and he told me the story.
It turned out his father had hit his head earlier and had a subdural hematoma. They operated on him right away to relieve the pressure. The Doctor said it was a good thing my husband tried to wake him, if he hadn't his brain would have continued to swell and he would probably have died. My brother in Law asked my husband why he was trying to wake him, my husband said I was bitching at him and he needed to borrow money, to stop me. My Mother In law said what else is new and the Doctor told her that her daughter in Laws bitching probably helped to save her husbands life.
Everything happens for a reason. If my husband hadn't taken the money, I wouldn't have had any reason to complain. He might have just thought his father was asleep and left him on the couch.
He still has not regained concouseness. He is in intensive care and everyone just waits. My husband is terrified and has given up any pretence of sobriety. I'm not saying a word. I am not going to rub salt in a wound while he doesn't know if his Dad will make it through. I went today and picked up a small tree and brought over a tiny nativity for my MIL to bring to the hospital. She said thanks Jeannie, for everything. I actually feel sorry for her, she seems so afraid, not nasty and evil, just afraid and alone
My husband is leaning on me, and I'm letting him. I know he is scared. I had so many things I was upset about this Christmas. So many wishes that I knew wouldn't come true. I was worried about gifts for the kids, all sorts of things that seem so irrelevant now.
The only wish I have right now is for this man who I have been fighting with for years to please hang on and wake up. I have wanted my husband to cut the ties that bind him to his parents, but not this way. I pray that My Father In Law wakes up and continues to live.
Jeannie no coincidence that you have this connection to your father in law. It was him who just recently actually started to open his eyes about your situation with your A if I remember. So many insignificant things that seem to dominate our lives when really every day is a gift. I will pray for your father in law and your A. You are a very caring person Jeannie and your forgiveness of those around you is testament to the beautiful nature you have. Thinking of you with love. Leo xx
