The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This year, for the first time since I can remember, my finances are not in a mess during Christmas.
My Christmas present to myself was to pay off my credit card. It put me in a position where I have limited money to spend on presents, and I'm so glad I did it! Now my only two big bills are my mortgage and my student loan payment.
I also paid for two classes at the gym, and I have been going three times a week.
Every year, I would go off the deep end and over extend myself. I bought the book Affirmations for Adult Children, and one of the entries tells you to give gifts only when appropriate. I used to buy gifts for several co-workers, extra presents for family, things for neighbors and so forth. I am in a position in my life where I am not really obligated to give. I don't have employees or clients expecting things. People in my social circle don't expect presents. I don't have kids. I feel fortunate to be in this simple phase of my life while I am learning to put myself first.
For several months now I have been repeating positive financial affirmations to myself.
This year, I gave/mailed letters and sent emails in lieu of presents. I kept it simple, and it worked. People really don't expect presents. I love getting a handwritten card in the mail, and everyone else is no different!! I bought presents for my immediate family and one neighbor.
By nature, I am a generous person so it has been a bit tough for me, and I feel like it's a bit extreme to keep it so simple.
There are no little kids in my family so it's a bit easier to not buy extra presents. Only one of my friends has a baby, and I bought him a cute gift.
I am taking care of myself thanks to what I have learned in Al Anon.
Over giving to my boyfriend was one of my forte's. At Christmas I gave him presents from everyone of our pets. I needless to say was lucky to get one.
I have stopped all the present giving to him because it just got out of control. Right now I am going to cook dinner for Boxing Day (we don't get to have holidays on the day because his mother needs him). Next year I may just take myself out of the equation altogether if I can make my life work. I will take off between Christmas and New Year because clearly he does not make plans for either of us at this time. Giving to myself has to be first in the New Year. Giving to him has to come a late late second.
